i thought i had something important to put to "paper". maybe, this is just another venue to allow me to vent, purge that extra energy that i seem to have lately. while the energy is wonderful, i just can't seem to exercise it in a useful manner. that would include running, yoga, studying for my pmp, developing speeches for toastmasters, volunteering.... i think we can get the idea.
however, i think that it is important that i try to re-establish some routines in my life. maybe, a quick blurp about a thought or a dream or whatever, maybe help. if you don't like the results, then you got to change the process/system. somebody alot smarter than me said, "Every system delivers the exact results it was designed for." so, you want new results, than change the system.
also, i need to get used to writing again. i want to try to capture as much as i can via blogs/ pictures/ etc over the next few months. it is an opportunity to allow myself to open to others, and let them share in my travels. or, worse case, they can get an idea of where i am AND that i am not in "to much" trouble.
ok. so, this felt good. i think i amm on to something.
just one thing to think about. should there be more filtering in the use of computers in libraries? (note: i write this from a library pc)
i am not talking about content, what you look up on the internet rather, what you are using the computers for. most folks are productive but i can't help to notice these guys playing "video games" on systems.
just seems to me another example of able-bodied folks enjoying the benefits of a free and productive society. again, this is a small sample but i can't shake the feeling of how prevelant this "could" be.
just an observation. i try to stay impartial, and if this prompts me to be more proactive then all the better.
thx-thomas
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Thank You, Pam Grier!
I don't normally sing the praises of the books I read to other folks. Usually, I will read a book, enjoy it, but I don't sing praises of the book. I do list the books I will read on LinkedIn, but usually my comments are kept to myself. I mean who really needs to hear what I think, right. (anyone, see the irony in that last sentence?)
But, I have to admit that I was really moved by Ms Grier's book, FOXY My Life in Three Acts. Now, I think everyone know Pam Grier or one of her characters; Foxy Brown, Coffy, or Jackie Brown. I am never been a person to take a whole lot of satisifaction in reading or following another person's life. Don't we all have our own life to live and experience. However, I have always loved history because I love to learn how people have overcome obstacles in their lives, regardless of who or what put those obstacles there. And, I have always felt that Pam Grier was a hotty. Her characters always had this mix of sex appeal, power, and smarts. These are the same qualities that I have always looked for in women that I want to have in my life. So, it would seem only fitting that I would pick up her book...at the library. :)
WOW!. This book really reasonated with me, it was such an honest and straight-forward delivery of her life story. It talked about obstables she overcame or is still working to overcome; how she has fallen in love, had the relationship die, and still continues to find love; beating cancer; her trimuphs and her regrets.
I think the part that really connected with me was when she talked on using yoga to help her quite her mind and get in touch with her body. To be honest, I think I used those same words to describe why I started my practice of yoga.
Upon finishing reading this book, I really thought about sending fan mail to her. I have never done that, I don't ask for autographs or clammer to see them. ( Yes, even Van Halen) But, I did look for a way to express my gratitude to her, the best I could find was a twitter and facebook account. Well, we are in a new time of media-connectivity. Who knows yet, what I will do. But, I feel this is a good start, and maybe somebody will read this and find her book.
It seems like there was so much more in my head when I finished reading the book. Guess, you really do have to put it to paper as soon as it pops in. Pick it up, give it a read. Make your own informed opinion, I know that would be something Ms. Grier would do. She struck me as a very open-minded person who tried to connect to people on a real level. And, that is something that I need to keep working on. Because it ain't about the quanity, it is the quality.
Again, thank you Pam Grier.
-later
But, I have to admit that I was really moved by Ms Grier's book, FOXY My Life in Three Acts. Now, I think everyone know Pam Grier or one of her characters; Foxy Brown, Coffy, or Jackie Brown. I am never been a person to take a whole lot of satisifaction in reading or following another person's life. Don't we all have our own life to live and experience. However, I have always loved history because I love to learn how people have overcome obstacles in their lives, regardless of who or what put those obstacles there. And, I have always felt that Pam Grier was a hotty. Her characters always had this mix of sex appeal, power, and smarts. These are the same qualities that I have always looked for in women that I want to have in my life. So, it would seem only fitting that I would pick up her book...at the library. :)
WOW!. This book really reasonated with me, it was such an honest and straight-forward delivery of her life story. It talked about obstables she overcame or is still working to overcome; how she has fallen in love, had the relationship die, and still continues to find love; beating cancer; her trimuphs and her regrets.
I think the part that really connected with me was when she talked on using yoga to help her quite her mind and get in touch with her body. To be honest, I think I used those same words to describe why I started my practice of yoga.
Upon finishing reading this book, I really thought about sending fan mail to her. I have never done that, I don't ask for autographs or clammer to see them. ( Yes, even Van Halen) But, I did look for a way to express my gratitude to her, the best I could find was a twitter and facebook account. Well, we are in a new time of media-connectivity. Who knows yet, what I will do. But, I feel this is a good start, and maybe somebody will read this and find her book.
It seems like there was so much more in my head when I finished reading the book. Guess, you really do have to put it to paper as soon as it pops in. Pick it up, give it a read. Make your own informed opinion, I know that would be something Ms. Grier would do. She struck me as a very open-minded person who tried to connect to people on a real level. And, that is something that I need to keep working on. Because it ain't about the quanity, it is the quality.
Again, thank you Pam Grier.
-later
Saturday, August 28, 2010
More Thoughts
ok, just have a few more ideas rolling around in the ole noggin.
1
so, yesterday i had the chance to help out my friend and some strangers. i did a volunteer shift for Hood to Coast. ( i am not gonna go into it, but if you don't know it then google it, amigo). yeah, it was like 2am to 6am on Friday, before my normal workday. and, yes i did drag most of the day.
but, it was a really good time. i mostly helped to facilitate parking lot efficiency. that is, getting people parked and exited in a timely manner and with NO accidents. it was very easy and really fun. i got to talk with some folks, saw some funny ass costumes, and surprisingly was thanked on several occasions by ALOT of the participants. to be honest, and probably to sound cheesy that was really worth it. also, looking back on it...that volunteer shift was the most fun, enjoyable, substantial part of my day. that notion really surprised me. not, sure what that is telling me but i know that i am gonna say, if you can look for a way to help or volunteer.
2
have you ever noticed how the word "BUT" is used? i don't think that i have ever heard something good come after it.
WAIT, HOLD THAT! I AM FULL OF SHIT ON THAT ONE. you hear it all the time, " your dad was in an accident BUT he is fine."
sorry, about that guess i was just focusing on negative news. well, at least i recognize it and now i can work to try and stay positive. yeah, guess i have been use the negative but. (so, would that be a tiny butt or a big butt....guess that depends on how you feel about jlo. that would be the litmus test)
what? did i just use the political term, litmus test in reference to asses? maybe, that isn't so bad. i am pretty sure that most folks think politicians and their pundits on tv are a bunch of asses. yeah, i said it.
i really don't have anything else. but, i do feel better.
t
1
so, yesterday i had the chance to help out my friend and some strangers. i did a volunteer shift for Hood to Coast. ( i am not gonna go into it, but if you don't know it then google it, amigo). yeah, it was like 2am to 6am on Friday, before my normal workday. and, yes i did drag most of the day.
but, it was a really good time. i mostly helped to facilitate parking lot efficiency. that is, getting people parked and exited in a timely manner and with NO accidents. it was very easy and really fun. i got to talk with some folks, saw some funny ass costumes, and surprisingly was thanked on several occasions by ALOT of the participants. to be honest, and probably to sound cheesy that was really worth it. also, looking back on it...that volunteer shift was the most fun, enjoyable, substantial part of my day. that notion really surprised me. not, sure what that is telling me but i know that i am gonna say, if you can look for a way to help or volunteer.
2
have you ever noticed how the word "BUT" is used? i don't think that i have ever heard something good come after it.
WAIT, HOLD THAT! I AM FULL OF SHIT ON THAT ONE. you hear it all the time, " your dad was in an accident BUT he is fine."
sorry, about that guess i was just focusing on negative news. well, at least i recognize it and now i can work to try and stay positive. yeah, guess i have been use the negative but. (so, would that be a tiny butt or a big butt....guess that depends on how you feel about jlo. that would be the litmus test)
what? did i just use the political term, litmus test in reference to asses? maybe, that isn't so bad. i am pretty sure that most folks think politicians and their pundits on tv are a bunch of asses. yeah, i said it.
i really don't have anything else. but, i do feel better.
t
CASH ONLY
i don't usually go to farmer's markets all that often. but, i found myself at one this morning and i was reminded of why i don't usually go (haha) but then i noticed something pretty amazing. it sorta threw me for a second and then put a big smile on my fiscally-conservative face. NO CREDIT CARDS. CASH ONLY transactions. holy shit. i mean it was like i was in vegas or nyc or hell back in college. see, i never had a credit card in college. hell, i didn't have a damn bank-atm card. i used to have to go to the bank, up to a tell, and give them my bank statement book. all transactions were there for the world or rather my parents to see. no hidden fees in those days. :)
why do i bring this up? well, it seems to me that we, the country are still obsessed with "easy or plastic money". the night before, i was out for something or another. a bill came, and then it was time to do the plastic dance. you know the one, put X on my card, and Y on that card, and this cash will go toward the grand total. holy f, i watched in a bourbon stupor, as one gal at the table decided to play enron with the bill to figure what goes on what card. i think that whole procession took like 30minutes or at least til i finished getting this little story formed in my head. does anyone even read this shit? :) well, i write it for me.
ok, so now we flash back to the farmer's market. it was nice to see ( at least i hope) people making purchases that they maybe had to take pause on before completing. maybe, they stopped and asked do i really need this? or, damn i bought this basket of peaches, now i can't buy a burrito. fyi, i usually buy the burrito then i am upset that i can buy something else. but, it really become very evident on how we need to fix our economy, or at least our own personal part of the solution. yes, you and me, each have a part that we play. and, it goes like this: DON'T BUY SHIT YOU REALLY DON'T NEED. UNDERSTAND THERE ARE REPERCUSSIONS TO EVERY FINANCIAL TRANSACTION YOU MAKE. WAKE THE HELL UP AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING. AND, THEN IF YOU DO FUCK UP WELL TAKE SOME DAMN ACCOUNTABILITY.
didn't mean to yell. so, that is a great little sermon, but talk without action is just hot air. so, i am going to start only doing cash transactions. i am going to carry cash to make my purchases; that would be lunch/dinner, my daily transit passes, and little purchases along the way. gonna try this and see how it goes. i know it will be painful, but i do believe that only thru pain do we truly make changes/improvements.
what are you gonna do?
why do i bring this up? well, it seems to me that we, the country are still obsessed with "easy or plastic money". the night before, i was out for something or another. a bill came, and then it was time to do the plastic dance. you know the one, put X on my card, and Y on that card, and this cash will go toward the grand total. holy f, i watched in a bourbon stupor, as one gal at the table decided to play enron with the bill to figure what goes on what card. i think that whole procession took like 30minutes or at least til i finished getting this little story formed in my head. does anyone even read this shit? :) well, i write it for me.
ok, so now we flash back to the farmer's market. it was nice to see ( at least i hope) people making purchases that they maybe had to take pause on before completing. maybe, they stopped and asked do i really need this? or, damn i bought this basket of peaches, now i can't buy a burrito. fyi, i usually buy the burrito then i am upset that i can buy something else. but, it really become very evident on how we need to fix our economy, or at least our own personal part of the solution. yes, you and me, each have a part that we play. and, it goes like this: DON'T BUY SHIT YOU REALLY DON'T NEED. UNDERSTAND THERE ARE REPERCUSSIONS TO EVERY FINANCIAL TRANSACTION YOU MAKE. WAKE THE HELL UP AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING. AND, THEN IF YOU DO FUCK UP WELL TAKE SOME DAMN ACCOUNTABILITY.
didn't mean to yell. so, that is a great little sermon, but talk without action is just hot air. so, i am going to start only doing cash transactions. i am going to carry cash to make my purchases; that would be lunch/dinner, my daily transit passes, and little purchases along the way. gonna try this and see how it goes. i know it will be painful, but i do believe that only thru pain do we truly make changes/improvements.
what are you gonna do?
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Freedom isn't Easy
Wow. I am speechless at what I read online sometimes. I just don't get it at times. Sometimes, you read a news article and then you read the comments people post....that can be a scary look in the mirror for society. However, I am not so sure that anyone is really looking into the mirror at the reflection. OH, I think I am getting off point.
So, I am referring to the article about President Obama supporting the building of a mosque/community center near Ground Zero. He goes on to reference the Constitution and the ideas of religious freedom....oh, i don't know something this country was founded on. The article goes on to say that a clear majority of folks do not support this. I was one of them, before I read the article and allowed myself to look at the stance the President was taking. He is taking a unpopular stance but I actually think it is the correct stance.
That is not an easy stance to take. It becomes very evident when you read the responses to the article. Now, I am not saying that this decision to build this center, it is not just a mosque but other facilities for the community. Could the builders look to make some compromises, such as a multi-religion facility? I personally think that would go a long way, and help to show people that you are not jamming something into their "face".
But, back to may original point, it is hard to allow and support freedom. The whole idea revolves around allowing somebody the right to do something that may turn your stomach. It sucks, but you know it really is the only way. It is especially tough when you are in a minority position on an issue. It can be tough to stand up to "mainstream" thinking, but it has to be done.
Hell, look at our men and women in uniform. They are all making sacrifices for our freedoms. I guess, I would just like people to take a moment and try to think of the issue from the other side, the one with out the numbers, and see if you would make the same argument. Maybe, you would or not, but at least take a moment, because Freedom isn't Easy.
thx
So, I am referring to the article about President Obama supporting the building of a mosque/community center near Ground Zero. He goes on to reference the Constitution and the ideas of religious freedom....oh, i don't know something this country was founded on. The article goes on to say that a clear majority of folks do not support this. I was one of them, before I read the article and allowed myself to look at the stance the President was taking. He is taking a unpopular stance but I actually think it is the correct stance.
That is not an easy stance to take. It becomes very evident when you read the responses to the article. Now, I am not saying that this decision to build this center, it is not just a mosque but other facilities for the community. Could the builders look to make some compromises, such as a multi-religion facility? I personally think that would go a long way, and help to show people that you are not jamming something into their "face".
But, back to may original point, it is hard to allow and support freedom. The whole idea revolves around allowing somebody the right to do something that may turn your stomach. It sucks, but you know it really is the only way. It is especially tough when you are in a minority position on an issue. It can be tough to stand up to "mainstream" thinking, but it has to be done.
Hell, look at our men and women in uniform. They are all making sacrifices for our freedoms. I guess, I would just like people to take a moment and try to think of the issue from the other side, the one with out the numbers, and see if you would make the same argument. Maybe, you would or not, but at least take a moment, because Freedom isn't Easy.
thx
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Really?
I guess that is all that I can think of today. It is a question, or rather a response I have when I am not sure of what I heard. Sort of a more polite version of What the Fuck. Maybe, that is what I should have said, WHAT THE FUCK.
I just heard that a friend of mine just found out that he has cancer. What did he deserve to get that? I guess it just hit me, and seemed to pile on top of a bunch of other bad events. My dad was in an accident about 7 weeks ago, and probably should be in alot worse condition than he was. A friend of mine just got jerked around about somebody that she had strong feelings.
I know they are all varied levels of pain and hurt. It still doesn't take away from why does bad shit have to happen to good people. It gets me upset, that people that I care about have to hurt and there isn't much that I can do about. I guess they knowing that I am here is really all that I can do. But, I feel helpless. What a horrible feeling! This must me magnified for parents of child...ah, hell for any family member.
I know when I went through my painful times, it was a comfort to know that I could talk with somebody. I probably talked more than I was used to but it was good for me. I know that I should talk more about things that I feel.
So, I guess I will just put myself out there as an option for my friends/ family and allow them to reach out if they want to. I can't control other's actions ONLY mine. But, I can give them an option.
OK, I know that we as humans only grow from these painful events, but really do they have to be this bad at times. Whomever is in charge.....maybe dial it back a little on folks. Just a thought.
Not really ( there is that word again) where I was going or where I ended but it felt like I had to get some thoughts out.
thx.
I just heard that a friend of mine just found out that he has cancer. What did he deserve to get that? I guess it just hit me, and seemed to pile on top of a bunch of other bad events. My dad was in an accident about 7 weeks ago, and probably should be in alot worse condition than he was. A friend of mine just got jerked around about somebody that she had strong feelings.
I know they are all varied levels of pain and hurt. It still doesn't take away from why does bad shit have to happen to good people. It gets me upset, that people that I care about have to hurt and there isn't much that I can do about. I guess they knowing that I am here is really all that I can do. But, I feel helpless. What a horrible feeling! This must me magnified for parents of child...ah, hell for any family member.
I know when I went through my painful times, it was a comfort to know that I could talk with somebody. I probably talked more than I was used to but it was good for me. I know that I should talk more about things that I feel.
So, I guess I will just put myself out there as an option for my friends/ family and allow them to reach out if they want to. I can't control other's actions ONLY mine. But, I can give them an option.
OK, I know that we as humans only grow from these painful events, but really do they have to be this bad at times. Whomever is in charge.....maybe dial it back a little on folks. Just a thought.
Not really ( there is that word again) where I was going or where I ended but it felt like I had to get some thoughts out.
thx.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Happy Fourth of July
I haven't posted in awhile, and frankly when I do it seems I am of a depressed state. Well, not today. It is a birthday! America's birthday. I know everyone will be caught up in the food, drinks, fireworks, picnics, sports, etc. And, that is great. I think we can all say that we deserve to have a little fun, enjoy ourselves, and gives this country a great party. I know that I am planning to have a great time with friends, and my family is a bit to far away.
But, I just want to make sure that we take the moment to remember we, as a country are, where we came from, and where we want to get to. There is more that binds us together than separates us. I truly believe that. Hey, we can probably use the Pareto Effect; 80% of the problems are caused by 20% of the issues. For us, I am convinced that we agree on 80% of the issues but are divided by 20% of issues. So, I guess just take a moment and try to see where the other side is coming from.
Also, take a moment to remember that we didn't get hear because of luck. It was through hard work and SACRIFICE. Yeah, I said that nasty S word. Take a moment to thanks folks for their sacrifice; teachers, firefighters, police officers, military, librarians, volunteers, little league coaches, youth activity leaders, and maybe even that local government worker.
Hey, just a thought. I know it was something that rolled around in my head this morning. So, thank them but do it for them and not for yourself. Just knowing that you did something for somebody else should be the perk, not telling folks what you did.
Have a great day. God Bless America. God Bless our Servicemen and Servicewomen. God Bless You.
-thomas
PS. I love America because you are allowed an opportunity to make whatever it is you want better.
What do you love?
But, I just want to make sure that we take the moment to remember we, as a country are, where we came from, and where we want to get to. There is more that binds us together than separates us. I truly believe that. Hey, we can probably use the Pareto Effect; 80% of the problems are caused by 20% of the issues. For us, I am convinced that we agree on 80% of the issues but are divided by 20% of issues. So, I guess just take a moment and try to see where the other side is coming from.
Also, take a moment to remember that we didn't get hear because of luck. It was through hard work and SACRIFICE. Yeah, I said that nasty S word. Take a moment to thanks folks for their sacrifice; teachers, firefighters, police officers, military, librarians, volunteers, little league coaches, youth activity leaders, and maybe even that local government worker.
Hey, just a thought. I know it was something that rolled around in my head this morning. So, thank them but do it for them and not for yourself. Just knowing that you did something for somebody else should be the perk, not telling folks what you did.
Have a great day. God Bless America. God Bless our Servicemen and Servicewomen. God Bless You.
-thomas
PS. I love America because you are allowed an opportunity to make whatever it is you want better.
What do you love?
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Lost Again?
It seems like such a crazy quote huh? But, it definitely is capturing my state of mind the last few days. I guess the tighter you grab at something the more likely you can squeeze "it" through your grip. Always comes back to the balance of everything; good-bad, pain-joy, poor-wealth, smiles-frown, love-hate, and the lines goes on.
Well, I know it all starts with me and my mind. (Scary thought?) This is just a way to get my thoughts out of my mind. As, I am sure that nobody is getting anything out of this. If they do, I guess than that is just the frosting on the cake.
So, what is the problem? To para-phrase, I am 'barking at the moon'. I feel like I am letting myself slide back to activities, thoughts that don't help to propel me forward toward something more positive for myself but for others as well.
Doing good is to be done for the joy of it and not for some benefit that will be paid back. Don't look for the reward, just do the good task.
I am becoming comfortable again, with where I am. Not looking for those challenges that helped to push me through last year. It is funny to hear people say " you really got it together" but I know that inside I am this walking experiment of how to make it through my life looking for love, knowledge, purpose, ....
I woke up this morning and felt sick. But, I know that I could have worked through it but I choose to make my mind make me feel sicker than I was. What am I running from?
I feel stagnate between exploring new relationships that should build upon my last one and thinking about my last one. Going back isn't a real option but yet it continues to just hang in my mind. Moving on with a new relationship, and a healthy one, is really the direction that I have to take. Maybe, this will help to get my mind and heart in the same place. But, are those two ever in synch? :) I think alot would be explained if they were NOT in synch.
I need to push through this and make the choice that I know is right. I can not straddle this issue, as the fence is starting to ride up in my ass....and that hurts.
it does feel better to get that off my chest.
Well, I know it all starts with me and my mind. (Scary thought?) This is just a way to get my thoughts out of my mind. As, I am sure that nobody is getting anything out of this. If they do, I guess than that is just the frosting on the cake.
So, what is the problem? To para-phrase, I am 'barking at the moon'. I feel like I am letting myself slide back to activities, thoughts that don't help to propel me forward toward something more positive for myself but for others as well.
Doing good is to be done for the joy of it and not for some benefit that will be paid back. Don't look for the reward, just do the good task.
I am becoming comfortable again, with where I am. Not looking for those challenges that helped to push me through last year. It is funny to hear people say " you really got it together" but I know that inside I am this walking experiment of how to make it through my life looking for love, knowledge, purpose, ....
I woke up this morning and felt sick. But, I know that I could have worked through it but I choose to make my mind make me feel sicker than I was. What am I running from?
I feel stagnate between exploring new relationships that should build upon my last one and thinking about my last one. Going back isn't a real option but yet it continues to just hang in my mind. Moving on with a new relationship, and a healthy one, is really the direction that I have to take. Maybe, this will help to get my mind and heart in the same place. But, are those two ever in synch? :) I think alot would be explained if they were NOT in synch.
I need to push through this and make the choice that I know is right. I can not straddle this issue, as the fence is starting to ride up in my ass....and that hurts.
it does feel better to get that off my chest.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Funny Stuff while I was...
It has been a really long time since, I have put words to virtual paper. I have been writing in my own personal way with a journal, of sorts. It started as a gratitude journal and has morphed into more of a place to put thoughts. But, it is private, and while that is good, I guess sometimes you just want to be 'heard'.
Funny, how you can look at pictures and feelings/memories/smiles/tears/ laughter/joy/pain can wash over you. It could be any combination of what I mentioned, OR even more. All could happen at once too. Well, I had that happen to me. Now, I really wish that I could still share the memories of those pictures with someone very special to me. Unfortunately, I can't at this moment. OH, it is nothing serious like a coma or death; just two people moving in differnet directions. However, I am not completely sold on that idea. In my honest opinion, I think we are more closely aligned than before but how to convey that message?
Funny, what can be conveyed with a picture. When you look back at the "moment capture" of the event or time, you can really see the feelings or emotions of that moment. What is sad, is how sometimes we just don't realize what is happening when it does. Or, maybe we do but we choose to ignore OR maybe even worse, take it for granted. I really don't know. At least, I am aware that I don't know and I try to be more aware nowadays.
My goodness, how much I miss her. Looking at picures almost brought me to tears. I could feel the swelling in my eyes as I looked and remembered BOTH the good and the bad. It was important to know that there were both. Funny how time will sometimes just make the bad memories fade and only let the good ones keep their shiny-glossy image. I know now that it is about both, and it is how you navigate between those two courses.
Maybe this all started when I went to witness a 50th wedding anniversity. Actually, I know that is what did it. Amazing how much love these 2 partners had for each other at the present, and through the years. This was evident through the story of pictures and even the toasts by friends and family. As, I watched the picture slideshow that went through the years, with corresponding music of that era, I noticed all of the good times. This started me thinking of how lucky they were, but I had to stop and say "there were tough times" too. And, it wasn't luck, it was hard work. After, that moment of clarity, I realized that it was a celebration of their love and the family they started. It caused me to look inside to see the joy that I got from my loved ones, family, and friends. I felt BLESSED about the people who used to be in my life, currently in my life, and those yet to become a part of my life.
Now, I just need to continue to live my life to its fullest, and make the best positive impact that I can on those who will bless my life with their pressence.
thanks.
Funny, how you can look at pictures and feelings/memories/smiles/tears/ laughter/joy/pain can wash over you. It could be any combination of what I mentioned, OR even more. All could happen at once too. Well, I had that happen to me. Now, I really wish that I could still share the memories of those pictures with someone very special to me. Unfortunately, I can't at this moment. OH, it is nothing serious like a coma or death; just two people moving in differnet directions. However, I am not completely sold on that idea. In my honest opinion, I think we are more closely aligned than before but how to convey that message?
Funny, what can be conveyed with a picture. When you look back at the "moment capture" of the event or time, you can really see the feelings or emotions of that moment. What is sad, is how sometimes we just don't realize what is happening when it does. Or, maybe we do but we choose to ignore OR maybe even worse, take it for granted. I really don't know. At least, I am aware that I don't know and I try to be more aware nowadays.
My goodness, how much I miss her. Looking at picures almost brought me to tears. I could feel the swelling in my eyes as I looked and remembered BOTH the good and the bad. It was important to know that there were both. Funny how time will sometimes just make the bad memories fade and only let the good ones keep their shiny-glossy image. I know now that it is about both, and it is how you navigate between those two courses.
Maybe this all started when I went to witness a 50th wedding anniversity. Actually, I know that is what did it. Amazing how much love these 2 partners had for each other at the present, and through the years. This was evident through the story of pictures and even the toasts by friends and family. As, I watched the picture slideshow that went through the years, with corresponding music of that era, I noticed all of the good times. This started me thinking of how lucky they were, but I had to stop and say "there were tough times" too. And, it wasn't luck, it was hard work. After, that moment of clarity, I realized that it was a celebration of their love and the family they started. It caused me to look inside to see the joy that I got from my loved ones, family, and friends. I felt BLESSED about the people who used to be in my life, currently in my life, and those yet to become a part of my life.
Now, I just need to continue to live my life to its fullest, and make the best positive impact that I can on those who will bless my life with their pressence.
thanks.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Another one bites the dust
That is what I keeping thinking today, with it being the end of the year and all. It is weird, but it doesn't feel like there is this "line" that delineates the start and stop of something. Doesn't life just continue to move onward, notice I don't say forward. Really, it just seems to keep moving and sometimes it moves you forward or backward or side to side.
Well, looking back at the year, I can say this has been the most challenging year of my life. But also maybe the most rewarding too. Decisions were made to start or stop various aspects of my life or maybe I should say characteristics of my being. Experiences ranged from jubliant to miserable, and everywhere in between. New friends were made, old friendships reinvigorated, and some friends lost. It really is all about the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Maybe that should be the name of the self-help book I could right....mmmm.
People are always telling you to focus on the positives. I feel that I have done that, but we still need to take stock of those negatives and figure out what to improve upon. However, I want to focus on my positives from this year.
-Expressing myself through speaking or written word. I joined Toastmasters which has been really a great learning environment. Also, I started this, blogging; and I most recently started to keep a "Gratitude Journal" which has morphed more into a regular journal of sorts. Just a place to collect my thoughts.
-Learning to listen to my body/ soul. This really relates to starting the practice of yoga. I really did feel quite alive when I did, unfortunately I have been remiss lately on continuing my practice. I will get back to it. Meditation has been good for me as well. Now, for me meditation has been more about reading and learning and applying little parts to my daily life. I feel that I am more inclined to understand another person's position in life, issues, or general being.
-Trying to help others with no expectation of reward. Volunteering has been a great experience for me. Networking with other folks in the job search has done wonders for my karma. I really do feel that we rather give out advice to others than take it ourselves. I noticed that alot of the last year from myself. I continue to try and take my own advice. I am analytical but it is tough when you throw in the emotional aspect of 'this is my life'. Networking has lead me to meet some great people that I would otherwise have passed by. I am grateful to all of them for various reasons; made me laugh, made me think, made me food...you know who you are.
My brother was/is going through some personal issues and seems rutterless. So, I decided to write to him to see if I could help. While, his response was not what I had hoped for, it was more important that I attempted to reach out. Sometimes that is all we can do.
-Witnessed my friend Tim and his fiance Danielle get married. It was just a wonderful time and event. Also, always good to see old friends. I came to realization that I need to reach out more to my old friends.
- All of the new friends that I meet this year. You have truly made my life more fulfilling with your compassion, insight, and knowledge. I truly am lucky to have meet you all. To old friends that I have reconnected with thru 'virtual networks', I thank you as well. I don't like to say 'misery loves company' but the idea that we all have issues to deal with and we can learn from others or lean on others is a very warm thought to keep in our minds.
So, with all of that rambling. I do wish everyone continued success in whatever you do; love, family,friends, and even work.
thx.
Well, looking back at the year, I can say this has been the most challenging year of my life. But also maybe the most rewarding too. Decisions were made to start or stop various aspects of my life or maybe I should say characteristics of my being. Experiences ranged from jubliant to miserable, and everywhere in between. New friends were made, old friendships reinvigorated, and some friends lost. It really is all about the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Maybe that should be the name of the self-help book I could right....mmmm.
People are always telling you to focus on the positives. I feel that I have done that, but we still need to take stock of those negatives and figure out what to improve upon. However, I want to focus on my positives from this year.
-Expressing myself through speaking or written word. I joined Toastmasters which has been really a great learning environment. Also, I started this, blogging; and I most recently started to keep a "Gratitude Journal" which has morphed more into a regular journal of sorts. Just a place to collect my thoughts.
-Learning to listen to my body/ soul. This really relates to starting the practice of yoga. I really did feel quite alive when I did, unfortunately I have been remiss lately on continuing my practice. I will get back to it. Meditation has been good for me as well. Now, for me meditation has been more about reading and learning and applying little parts to my daily life. I feel that I am more inclined to understand another person's position in life, issues, or general being.
-Trying to help others with no expectation of reward. Volunteering has been a great experience for me. Networking with other folks in the job search has done wonders for my karma. I really do feel that we rather give out advice to others than take it ourselves. I noticed that alot of the last year from myself. I continue to try and take my own advice. I am analytical but it is tough when you throw in the emotional aspect of 'this is my life'. Networking has lead me to meet some great people that I would otherwise have passed by. I am grateful to all of them for various reasons; made me laugh, made me think, made me food...you know who you are.
My brother was/is going through some personal issues and seems rutterless. So, I decided to write to him to see if I could help. While, his response was not what I had hoped for, it was more important that I attempted to reach out. Sometimes that is all we can do.
-Witnessed my friend Tim and his fiance Danielle get married. It was just a wonderful time and event. Also, always good to see old friends. I came to realization that I need to reach out more to my old friends.
- All of the new friends that I meet this year. You have truly made my life more fulfilling with your compassion, insight, and knowledge. I truly am lucky to have meet you all. To old friends that I have reconnected with thru 'virtual networks', I thank you as well. I don't like to say 'misery loves company' but the idea that we all have issues to deal with and we can learn from others or lean on others is a very warm thought to keep in our minds.
So, with all of that rambling. I do wish everyone continued success in whatever you do; love, family,friends, and even work.
thx.
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