Thanks, Mom.

I had a wonderful opportunity to spend some time with my mom.  We spend the time driving across the country.  No better way to see the country.  No better way to spend time with somebody.  No better way to realize how special of a person my mom is, and how luck I am to have her in my life.

I am the luckiest son in the world.  I miss her already.  I apolgize for the times I got frustrated.  I can NOT wait to take another trip with her.  I love you, mom.

-tffjr

Seven Days

that is how long it is going to take me to drive across the country; from buffalo, ny to san francisco, ca.
well, it should only be 6 days, as 1 day was spent in chicago sightseeing.   6 days to travel 3000+ miles.
makes me think about those early settlers and the sheer size of their BALLS to perform this task.   impressive band of people of all types.  

this is the second time that i have done this in 2 years.  the first time was from the west to the east.  the biggest difference was having the wind at my back to help with the gas mileage.  well, that and the sights i saw.  

i am always amazed at what you see when you drive this country.  the variety of landscapes, climates, and wonderful sights.  but, the constant is the people.   people have been so nice, and willing to share a smile, kind word or a little about themselves.  i wonder if that is because they are tourists and not taking anything for granted.  

YEAH, I THINK THAT IS IT.

i know that i get the feeling of complacency with sights and sounds of a place after awhile.  regardless, that there is still so much more to see.   hell, take the whole leaving portland.  i felt that i was done with the place but upon further review realized that alot more was waiting for me.   also, a part of me was left behind when i left.  

so, what does this mean for me?   simply, it means that i am going to TRY and approach everyday like i am on a roadtrip.   kind words and smile to everyone.    see or do one special thing a day.   realize that i can always stop, turn around, and go back.   have a plan but still allow myself to make changes when needed, sometimes those make for the best adventures.

oh, and most importantly, and when possible have a co-pilot to enjoy the trip.
this trip has been more enjoyable because my mom has been here to share this with me.   it truly has been special, even if we are different about certain things.  :)

hopefully, you can relate and more importantly you will take your own "SEVEN DAYS"

-tffjr

?

i wonder if people ever truly think about how they are seen by others.   and, i am not talking about in a superficial way, but in a serious, soul-searching type of sight.   i ask the question because i seem to have this mild fascination with the "online presence".   it can be related to twitter, blogs, texts, online dating, craiglist, comments made on a news story, facebook updates, and on and on and on.  is there a little irony here with me writing this blog and you out there reading this?   but, isn't that the whole point at least from your perspective, to get a sense of who i am.   i mean it isn't your fault if i choose to add or make content that is superficial, incomplete, or even inaccurate.  nope.  you are just here to see the content, be entertained and maybe get a sense of the person.   so, i guess the whole point is that me as the contributor have the responsibility to put forth content that reflects who i truly am.  in the end, we each have to hold ourselves accountable for what we do, what we write, what we say.  

so, maybe i have answered my own question.   i do think people think about how they are seen by others.  and,  maybe some of them just don't care how others see them.

and, maybe that isn't such a bad think.   if you can see yourself for who you truly are then you are doing ok.   however, i wonder (ever a good thing?) if that vision is the same vision as those of others.

this thought has been prevalent in my mind the last few days.  i know it is because of my returning back to portland.  my time away was good for me, as it helped me to really work towards finding who i was, and who i wanted to be.   time away allowed me to not worry how i thought my friends might see the changes i was making.  i did not have to worry about the pressure i would feel to have them see me as they always did, even if that was a view of myself that i had grown to dislike.   we all strive to become our best, and true friends are there to help you along the way.   

i am who i have become, but that is not set in stone.  i will continue to make changes to make me better.

so, here i come.

kool-aid

kool-aid.   the phrase goes, "drink the kool-aid".
it is never more obvious then when referring to the news, and especially when dealing with politics.
the Vice Presidential debate was the previous night.  I watched the debate.   I overheard my dad talk about the debate.   he didn't watch the debate but was "informed" about the debate from the morning news shows.   he informed me that the Vice President smiled alot during the debate, at where "inappropriate" times.   i knew exactly what he was talking about in terms of actions, but the Vice President's actions were not "inappropriate" in my eyes.   what am i getting at?

it just seems that an opinion was put forward rather than the content.  more focus was put on the presentation than the content of the debate.  and, it just seemed like the opinionated "kool-aid"was passed along as fact.

that makes me think about kook-aid.  hey, i grew up drinking that stuff by the gallons because "as a mom i can control the sugar".   we all remember that line from the commercial.   side track.
but, do we drink the kool-aid because we just want something to quench our thirst.  regardless of what it taste likes.    hey, we are gonna drink what we like regardless of the side effects.  right?  am i being to pessimistic?

i don't know if i am.  but, i am starting to get a little feed-up with all the flavors of kool-aid.

so, now i just drink water?

Hindsight

hindsight.   we are always perfect in regards to the idea.  we always make the best decision when you using the knowledge that hindsight allows us.   rarely, do we ever get the opportunity to apply the lessons of hindsight.

well, i truly feel that i am blessed with the knowledge of hindsight with my relocation back to portland. i would be lying if i said that this was always my original plan.   nope.  i was ready and set to make a new life for myself and was moving towards that.   however, life tends to make changes for us OR maybe to us.   but, you have to be at a point where you can see what those changes can bring for you.

what is my hindsight?  simply, it was that i was happy and connected in portland.   spending time away really made this obvious.  but, i am not going back the same person with the same ideas, or focus.  i think the dreams are still the same, and more importantly i feel that i am better equipped to make them happen.

so, with all that said, i am ready to start a second version of a chapter.  :)   it isn't a rewrite but rather a whole new chapter but there could be some additions.   think of it like the re-release of the stars trilogy with the extras (jabba is episode iv).  or, maybe it is like the 3D version of a movie.   

i don't know but i am truly looking forward to the whole adventure.

i am finally going home.   buffalo is where i was born, grew up as a kid, and where my parents live.  but, it isn't home.  portland is home.