Really?

I guess that is all that I can think of today. It is a question, or rather a response I have when I am not sure of what I heard. Sort of a more polite version of What the Fuck. Maybe, that is what I should have said, WHAT THE FUCK.

I just heard that a friend of mine just found out that he has cancer. What did he deserve to get that? I guess it just hit me, and seemed to pile on top of a bunch of other bad events. My dad was in an accident about 7 weeks ago, and probably should be in alot worse condition than he was. A friend of mine just got jerked around about somebody that she had strong feelings.

I know they are all varied levels of pain and hurt. It still doesn't take away from why does bad shit have to happen to good people. It gets me upset, that people that I care about have to hurt and there isn't much that I can do about. I guess they knowing that I am here is really all that I can do. But, I feel helpless. What a horrible feeling! This must me magnified for parents of child...ah, hell for any family member.

I know when I went through my painful times, it was a comfort to know that I could talk with somebody. I probably talked more than I was used to but it was good for me. I know that I should talk more about things that I feel.

So, I guess I will just put myself out there as an option for my friends/ family and allow them to reach out if they want to. I can't control other's actions ONLY mine. But, I can give them an option.


OK, I know that we as humans only grow from these painful events, but really do they have to be this bad at times. Whomever is in charge.....maybe dial it back a little on folks. Just a thought.

Not really ( there is that word again) where I was going or where I ended but it felt like I had to get some thoughts out.

thx.