Hindsight

hindsight.   we are always perfect in regards to the idea.  we always make the best decision when you using the knowledge that hindsight allows us.   rarely, do we ever get the opportunity to apply the lessons of hindsight.

well, i truly feel that i am blessed with the knowledge of hindsight with my relocation back to portland. i would be lying if i said that this was always my original plan.   nope.  i was ready and set to make a new life for myself and was moving towards that.   however, life tends to make changes for us OR maybe to us.   but, you have to be at a point where you can see what those changes can bring for you.

what is my hindsight?  simply, it was that i was happy and connected in portland.   spending time away really made this obvious.  but, i am not going back the same person with the same ideas, or focus.  i think the dreams are still the same, and more importantly i feel that i am better equipped to make them happen.

so, with all that said, i am ready to start a second version of a chapter.  :)   it isn't a rewrite but rather a whole new chapter but there could be some additions.   think of it like the re-release of the stars trilogy with the extras (jabba is episode iv).  or, maybe it is like the 3D version of a movie.   

i don't know but i am truly looking forward to the whole adventure.

i am finally going home.   buffalo is where i was born, grew up as a kid, and where my parents live.  but, it isn't home.  portland is home.   

Quality/ Quantity

i was wondering about this concept today.   earlier in the week, i read an article describing how "we have killed boredom" with technology.   i guess in a way we certainly have done that.   there is always something that we can look at, listen to, download, capture or even share with somebody else.   hey, that is great.  i think it is wonderful to have something to push away boredom.  BUT, there are times when i  think about what benefit we are getting, if any.

in a moment of weakness and boredom, i opted to setup a tumblr account and re-initate a twitter account.  not exactly sure the reason.  maybe, i just wanted to have them there in the event that i need to  convey something critical to humanity in 140 or few characters.  (that was a twitter reference, btw)

after the accounts were configured and ready to go, i took some (oh so valuable) time to see what was in the "spheres".   i wasn't all that surprised to find NOTHING of any significant importance.  now, this is just my observation and not a indictment of both platforms.  i will say that tumblr does seem to offer some more substance, it feels closer to a blog than twitter.   but, it did seem to lack material of significant impact, again this is just my opinion.

SURE, i could spend more of my "bored" time looking for quality content.   

well, i am just wondering if all this "plugged" in is really for the better.   it seems that we have all these mediums to increase communication but the message doesn't seem to be crisp or relevant.  i guess that is what really seems to capture my attention.   so many ways to communicate and they make it so easy to communicate.  BUT, THE MESSAGE(S) SEEMS INCOMPLETE AND LACKING REAL FEELING.   wait.  i am mixing two separate issues.    the incomplete message is the focus.   the information we seem to share just seems to be random with no real reason for why we share it.   maybe, it because there is "so much opportunity" that it must be seized and used, regardless if value is included.

i can't do anything about the messaging of others.  i can do something about mine.  i can make sure that i am truly convey complete thoughts and that honesty/sincerity come across in my messages to my friends.  heck, everyone deserves honest communication.

The Voice, a pesky super-ish hero.

Here is a speech that I wrote for an upcoming humorous speech contest.  Yes, it is for Toastmasters.  Granted, it isn't verbatim but this is the basic flow of the speech.   Enjoy. 

************

Superheroes.

What is our fascination with them?  I really don’t know.  Maybe it is the symbolism; they represent

However, I can definitely say with a fair amount of certainty that I have utilized the idea of a superhero in my own life.  And, most recently I have used superheroes for speech contests.  Sure, when you are younger you need that special guy who can protect you from the scary bully on the playground, the splintering impact of a wooden spoon on a backside from a over judicious parents about the perils of an untidy room or perils of uneaten vegetables.

Well, that would definitely be something but I can honestly say that was not the case of the superhero in my life.   Now, I would probably refer to my “superhero” as a pest or more accurately a pain in the ass.   I am sure that description will be come evident over the next few minutes.

So, who is the pest/superhero?   I call him THE VOICE.  Well, worse case it is a good superhero name.

OK, so now you are asking what was this pest-hero’s power?

He had a few.  He had a wonderful ability to disappear around the authorities, which allowed him to escape capture from the authorities.   That should be enough for a super-power.

And, his second power.

Well, it was quite simply with the mere power of his voice, which somehow appeared in my head, I would decide upon performing some type of activity.  Now, as a youth with limited electronic stimulation (no computer games, 4 channels of television,) I was typically involved in playing outside in my “play jeans” and doing the usual mischief that a young fellow would enjoy.   The great outdoors or activity was often the only real kryptonite for the  super pesty VOICE.  It was usually able to dampen out his mischievous voice.

But, on occasions, usually when I was suck indoors, his voice would start to increase in volume and finally start to reverberate inside my noggin.    I can recall a few instances where the VOICE got me to do some dumb-ass shit that would leave me marked with those “scares of youth”.

Once at the age of 3, I decided that I had enough of this inside nonsense.  The VOICE knew this and “reminded” me that my red tricycle was near the stairs and I could easy take it outside.   Well, what he VOICE forgot to mention was the fact that we lived UPSTAIRS and that the tricycle did not yet come with a jetpack type of option to get to the bottom floor.    As an aspiring cab driver, I figured I could just ride the tricycle down those stairs to the bottom floor.  BOOOOOM and WHAY!!!!  That is what I recall after my “STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN” came to a sudden and my newly broken clavicle started to speak to me.   AND, the VOICE was nowhere to be seen.  And, lucky for me, mom decided that the recent monologue from the broken clavicle was enough to convey her points dealing with my stupidity.

The years went by and I started to learn how to quiet the VOICE, except when I got to college.   College?  One would think the rigors of working on an engineering degree @ RIT would be enough to keep the VOICE quiet. WELL, you would be wrong!  Because what happened was I learned the mental-relaxing power of BEER and this often allowed the VOICE to speak to me.

One episode I “recall” where The VOICE struck was on the spring break of my senior year in college. It seemed like I was constantly listening to the VOICE during this week of collegiate fun.  Of course, the VOICE would need to make his impact known in one-bold-everlasting way; maybe he was just trying to make up for our “lost years of quiet”.

Well, the VOICE had noticed that in 1996 there was a trend about to start and he wanted to get me involved. (See, he really is a caring SuperHero)   That trend was piercings for the body…way beyond the ears.  Before GOTH was the GOTH look, it was just college kids getting metal jammed through skin.   The VOICE had noticed there was a piercing station as the best bar spot  (5 bars- a pentagon of bad decisions, if you will).   He suggested that I should go ahead and be apart of the new craze, go for it, and just get my left nipple pierced.   Now, in the VOICE’s defense, he already knew I had an ear pierced, and was interviewing the very next week, so a nipple could be easily covered.  And, to his credit the interviewer was none the wiser AND how sensitive could it be?  I did get that job, and it did feel worse than a hang-nail.

I am not sure what happened to the VOICE after college.   We rarely seemed to be in the same area.  I guess we just started to grow apart.   That happens when folks start to become busy living their lives.

Work usually kept me busy and definitely with a mind full of items that required to be dealt with.

However, after a very long time, I found myself in a place where I was starting to miss the VOICE.  Funny how life works.   The VOICE and I have found ourselves together over the last year, grabbing a coffee every now and then.

It has appeared that the VOICE had also grown up during our time apart.

He now seems to be really focused on offering better advice.  I would often find him telling me to calm down, think about a situation, initiate a conversation with a beautiful woman, don’t send that email, start running again, or try this toastmasters thing.

In looking back, it became pretty evident that the VOICE was just like me…if not exactly like me.   As I grew up and matured, I found that I needed my VOICE to give me pause and see the value of situations, even bad situations.  When I was younger it seemed like I was looking for an escape from my current situation.  Now, I am looking for ways make the situation improve and maybe even last longer.

I can definitely say that I learned that sometimes listen to our voice in our head.  Yes, it can be painful at first but in long run it will be for the best. And why shouldn’t it?   It is just your own voice and who but you knows what is best for you.   Except maybe your mom’s voice but that is for another speech.

He said WHAT?

i was doing something that required my mind to blank out the other day.   it was running or biking, really can't recall at this moment and quite frankly it doesn't matter.   but, during this event i started thinking about a politician that was giving a speech and the whole time the audience is going "he said what?!"

ok, sure the timing seems very "convenient" and maybe even the premise is recycled from previous cinematic endeavors.   i am thinking the "Bulworth" (?) with warren beatty and "The Candidate" with robert redford.    well, i am a big fan of the idea that there are only a few real ideas and they just get re-packaged and re-marketed for new generations.    don't believe, just look at hollywood.

and, i should say that i was thinking along the lines of trying to give a humorous speech.  it seemed like this could be a good way to mix some of my pent up frustration with the toxic political environment,  and generate material for a humorous speech.

so, this is where i am deciding to keep my notes.   i mean i have left some other unique stuff on here.   :)
****

Haven't we all thought how wonderful it would truly be to have an honest politician.  One that was actually speaking to us like we were an adult.  One that was telling us what we needed to hear rather than what we wanted to hear.   A politician who was truly a leader rather than a servant.   Today is your day when that thought becomes reality.  Today we get a glimpse at this thought playing out in front of our eyes. Today, I give you Thomas F. Lynne, Jr. who is giving his initial campaign kick-off speech for his state government elections.   Are we seeing something in the works here that could blossom into higher aspirations for this young, brash, and at times funny young political upstart?
I can not answer that question, but maybe together we can watch and find out.   Ok, let take a peak.
   
Good Morning, ladies and gentlemen of the Clarence Toastmasters club.  It truly is an honor to be here to speak with you today.   I as a member of Toastmasters know that your meetings are allocated for your own members to speak, learn, and grow.  I am truly humbled by your generosity.

So, why am I here today bogarting your meeting?   Well, I am here to let you in on a little secret, my intention to run for state government.   Now, I wonder if that is truly a secret anymore with my use of Twit-Book,  My-Face, and my lowest rated podcast in the greater buffalo/rochester area; "Click This-ShutUP- Listen".  (Hey, I am in first place if you start your alphabet with Z)

Well, that is wonderful you say.   And, you are correct to say that.   It is wonderful because it is my plan to give you the straight dope.   Consider me you own personal "Dr Feelgood".  I am gonna tell you stuff that you probably already know, probably already discuss with your peers, but have never hear a person from the questionable profession of politcs ever say.   Sometimes, I wonder and maybe you do as well, if politics is really short for political sabotage.   I am mean does anything related to politics ever get done?   And, last time I thumbed through a Webster's to the S section and purused sabotage, it mentioned something about preventing something from being completed.   Hey, i am just putting the dots out there...you connect them as you see fit.
But, back to my Dr Feelgood.  I will give you this first taste for free...just like all good pushers.  :)
After that, I am gonna ask that you continue to get you fix and all I ask is that you "spread the disease".

So, what is wrong?  I am glad that you asked and I guess you didn't know that I could read minds.
Well, the problem stems from all of us as a society are living with our head up our proverbial asses.   Yeap!  I really don't know how much simpler I can make that message.    Now, due to the early nature of our meeting, I won't ask you to repeat it back to me.  But, I get a clear sense that there is agreement.
But, fear not we are making progress.   First thing to fixing a problem is to identify the problem, and clearly a head up the ass is a problem on several levels.   I mean you can not see where you are, where you going, and not to mention the smell and constipation.   But, I digress.


<more to follow>

Thanks, Dad.

happy father's day.  yes, a day for all of us to acknowledge that special male in our lives.  the guy who helped you learn to throw the baseball, or how to fish, or peaked your interest in sports, cars, or any of those manly things.  :)     

sometimes, i think dads get a little short-changed.  and, this is to take nothing away from moms.  i think moms are 1A and dads are 1B, and i think the whole 9month thing tips it toward the moms.  :)

however, i know that i am the person i am because of both of my parents; mom and dad.   my dad is not my biological father but that means nothing to me or to him.   he has raised me as his own since the beginning and i am ETERNALLY GRATEFUL.   

lucky weekend

relax.  maybe, lucky is the wrong word.   anyways.   i was able to witness a couple come together in the ultimate commitment, marriage.   now, i am not a huge marriage person, because i don't believe a piece of paper makes a couple anymore in love.    but, with all of that said, i do love to go to weddings.   and, maybe it is when they are more casual, and really just an expression of the couple's love for each other and their desire to share with people close to them.   i mean, how can you not like that...especially when it is catered and open-bar.  :)    seriously.

my friends mel and ryan got married this last weekend, and allowed me to join them.   i am truly grateful.   it was a wonderful day, and really quite warming to watch 2 friends in love with each other and taking that their remaining steps together through life.   i felt no regrets as to where my life is right now, but more  empowered to keep looking for that type of happiness.  sometimes, we all need to see that "it works" and that we just need to work a little harder for it to happen to us.   it was really just a wonderful experience.   maybe, it helps that i was comfortable with myself to really enjoy the whole experience; meeting new people, sharing stories, laughing, and shedding a tear from joy and not pain.

just a great experience.   and, i will admit that it shocked me how grateful they were to have me join them.  funny.  but, maybe that is what it is all about.    spending with time with people whose company you really enjoy.    sometimes, they are new people in your life OR from very early in your life.   it doesn't matter.  all that matters is that everyone grows from these shared experiences.

and, i spent a wonderful afternoon with a friend with great food and even better conversation.  it was both insightful, and funny.   that is the key.   do your friends bring you joy but also make you think/challenge yourself to improve?   i do feel that i have more questions to answer but we only grow through searching for answers.  and, sometimes we don't even get the answer.    oh well.

well, i just wanted to get these thoughts out there.   

-tffjr

:)

Good things are what you allow to happen.  
We all have to be willing to allow them to happen.  And, yes sometimes they don't happen at our schedule or timetable.  That is life.   However, you just have to keep an open mind, open eye, and open heart.
No real insight today.  Just acknowledging that we have a bigger hand in how our life goes, especially when things aren't going great.  

Have a great day/week/month/year...

-tffjr

Looking Back

sometimes, i wonder if we ever really want to look back?
i am bringing this up because i have been looking back at some of my previous blog postings.
what have i found?  typos!  i usually see about 2 or 3.  they seem to deal more with an extra word or two. spelling is good but that is likely an artifact of the spelling checks that happen.  however, there is still no replacement for reading through your document.  :)   i guess all those English teachers had it correct.

why the look back?  well, i was doing some research for a speech project for my toastmasters club.    these entries are just some of my thoughts captured, similar to a journal.   well, the exercise made me realize that i likely won't win a "blog-litzer" but the effort to record the ideas was still worth it.  and, i plan to continue.

i continue to keep moving forward but every once and awhile you do need to look backwards to see where you came from.   well, consider this just another check on where i have been.   and, i look forward to where i will be going.

just a thought.

-tffjr

Golden Silence?

we have all heard the phrase, "silence is golden" at some point in our lives.  hell, we might have even been the person to say the phrase.  to be honest, i feel like i have been more on the giving than the receiving side.   or, maybe is more related to my increase of years.   right?  kids don't seem to grasp the joy of silence.  and, parents would probably say that a quiet child is up to something.  in my case as likely documented by my parental units, would definitely concur.  parents worry when there is no side from a child.  and, i get that completely.   kids are to "spongy" to not be out there in life getting into something and learning.   you learn best by doing and maybe even better by failing....think of the hot stove/hand example.

however, i really do feel that silence is golden.  for me, this phrase really hits home when i think of the media.  yes, and this includes old, new, social, and anti-social media.  how many times can i be bombarded with the same trivial, insignificant, "spun-up", boring, un-related new "stories".   is it just an excuse for all of us to not think of our own situations?   i mean i get the whole needing to escape from reality for a small period, but it seems like that is all that we have.   i don't know.   i think i really need to run some miles and have this shit roll out of my head.   :)   it just looks like crap outside and i am not really motivated.  :)

but, back to silence.  do we ever really have any?   do we ever really want any?  would we truly ever know what true silence was?   i mean there is always the voice inside your head, right? 

does your voice sound like your own physical voice?  or does it sound like your ideal voice? 
i have to be honest with you, but i really can tell you about my voice.  hmm, i wonder what would  a shrink would say about this train of 'thought'.  

anyways.   well, no time like the present to do something.  so, i guess it is time to get those miles logged for today.

-tffjr

flashing back

never ceases to amaze me how a picture can talk you back.   now, i am a relatively young man, but it is pretty awesome to see what a difference 5 years can make.   aside from the lack of gray hair, i look about the same.  however, i can really get a sense of how different i have become.  maybe, that is more related to maturity and alot less jager.  ;)   but, i will say that i had some real nice hair, very wavy and i think it might be time to grow it back.

2007 was a pretty wild year.   i was definitely partying hard with my buddies.  i was a pretty care-free guy who was all about having fun and keeping the good times rolling until time for work.   :)

and, it got way better when i meet drv.   i really learned the value of a relationship and how it can truly lift you help and make you want to become more.  i could go on and on.  and, sometimes i often do while i am running my miles.  but, i don't wish to bore you.  :)

i miss smiling like this.  :)

however, you can't live in flash-backs.  have to live in the present, but we have to learn from our past so that we can maximize our future.   and, i am definitely learning.

-tffjr