Here is a speech that I wrote for an upcoming humorous speech contest. Yes, it is for Toastmasters. Granted, it isn't verbatim but this is the basic flow of the speech. Enjoy.
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Superheroes.
What
is our fascination with them? I
really don’t know. Maybe it is the
symbolism; they represent
However,
I can definitely say with a fair amount of certainty that I have utilized the
idea of a superhero in my own life.
And, most recently I have used superheroes for speech contests. Sure, when you are younger you need
that special guy who can protect you from the scary bully on the playground,
the splintering impact of a wooden spoon on a backside from a over judicious
parents about the perils of an untidy room or perils of uneaten vegetables.
Well,
that would definitely be something but I can honestly say that was not the case
of the superhero in my life.
Now, I would probably refer to my “superhero” as a pest or more
accurately a pain in the ass.
I am sure that description will be come evident over the next few
minutes.
So,
who is the pest/superhero? I
call him THE VOICE. Well, worse
case it is a good superhero name.
OK,
so now you are asking what was this pest-hero’s power?
He
had a few. He had a wonderful
ability to disappear around the authorities, which allowed him to escape
capture from the authorities.
That should be enough for a super-power.
And,
his second power.
Well,
it was quite simply with the mere power of his voice, which somehow appeared in
my head, I would decide upon performing some type of activity. Now, as a youth with limited electronic
stimulation (no computer games, 4 channels of television,) I was typically
involved in playing outside in my “play jeans” and doing the usual mischief
that a young fellow would enjoy.
The great outdoors or activity was often the only real kryptonite for
the super pesty VOICE. It was usually able to dampen out his
mischievous voice.
But,
on occasions, usually when I was suck indoors, his voice would start to
increase in volume and finally start to reverberate inside my noggin. I can recall a few
instances where the VOICE got me to do some dumb-ass shit that would leave me
marked with those “scares of youth”.
Once
at the age of 3, I decided that I had enough of this inside nonsense. The VOICE knew this and “reminded” me
that my red tricycle was near the stairs and I could easy take it outside. Well, what he VOICE forgot to
mention was the fact that we lived UPSTAIRS and that the tricycle did not yet
come with a jetpack type of option to get to the bottom floor. As an aspiring cab driver,
I figured I could just ride the tricycle down those stairs to the bottom
floor. BOOOOOM and WHAY!!!! That is what I recall after my
“STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN” came to a sudden and my newly broken clavicle started to
speak to me. AND, the VOICE
was nowhere to be seen. And, lucky
for me, mom decided that the recent monologue from the broken clavicle was
enough to convey her points dealing with my stupidity.
The
years went by and I started to learn how to quiet the VOICE, except when I got
to college. College? One would think the rigors of working
on an engineering degree @ RIT would be enough to keep the VOICE quiet. WELL,
you would be wrong! Because what
happened was I learned the mental-relaxing power of BEER and this often allowed
the VOICE to speak to me.
One
episode I “recall” where The VOICE struck was on the spring break of my senior
year in college. It seemed like I was constantly listening to the VOICE during
this week of collegiate fun. Of
course, the VOICE would need to make his impact known in one-bold-everlasting
way; maybe he was just trying to make up for our “lost years of quiet”.
Well,
the VOICE had noticed that in 1996 there was a trend about to start and he
wanted to get me involved. (See, he really is a caring SuperHero) That trend was piercings for the
body…way beyond the ears. Before
GOTH was the GOTH look, it was just college kids getting metal jammed through
skin. The VOICE had noticed
there was a piercing station as the best bar spot (5 bars- a pentagon of bad decisions, if you will). He suggested that I should go
ahead and be apart of the new craze, go for it, and just get my left nipple
pierced. Now, in the VOICE’s
defense, he already knew I had an ear pierced, and was interviewing the very
next week, so a nipple could be easily covered. And, to his credit the interviewer was none the wiser AND
how sensitive could it be? I did
get that job, and it did feel worse than a hang-nail.
I
am not sure what happened to the VOICE after college. We rarely seemed to be in the same area. I guess we just started to grow apart. That happens when folks start to
become busy living their lives.
Work
usually kept me busy and definitely with a mind full of items that required to
be dealt with.
However,
after a very long time, I found myself in a place where I was starting to miss
the VOICE. Funny how life
works. The VOICE and I have
found ourselves together over the last year, grabbing a coffee every now and
then.
It
has appeared that the VOICE had also grown up during our time apart.
He
now seems to be really focused on offering better advice. I would often find him telling me to
calm down, think about a situation, initiate a conversation with a beautiful
woman, don’t send that email, start running again, or try this toastmasters
thing.
In
looking back, it became pretty evident that the VOICE was just like me…if not
exactly like me. As I grew
up and matured, I found that I needed my VOICE to give me pause and see the
value of situations, even bad situations.
When I was younger it seemed like I was looking for an escape from my
current situation. Now, I am
looking for ways make the situation improve and maybe even last longer.
I
can definitely say that I learned that sometimes listen to our voice in our
head. Yes, it can be painful at
first but in long run it will be for the best. And why shouldn’t it? It is just your own voice and who
but you knows what is best for you.
Except maybe your mom’s voice but that is for another speech.
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