giving back

Sitting around, thinking how to help, wondering what do i bring to the table, what can i share.   Just a few ideas that lead to my decision to join a race event for charity.

What about you?

dirty hands

my current blog location uses a different email address than my standard gmail account.

i wanted to be able to make updates to my blog with the standard account, that is leading me down a path of a new blogger account or adding another contributor email address.

let me just say that nothing is ever as easy as "somebody" else makes it out to be, especially in written form.   it takes some getting your hands dirty to figure just what the hell to do.

yes, my hands are getting dirty.   

hopefully, i can get this squared away soon.

-tffjr

it does appear that i was able to finally get to what i wanted.   guess there is about 3ways you can skin a goat.   (eat it, peta!)

2-21-2012

traction vs. direction

sometimes, it is just a matter of doing something, anything to get some traction.  traction is what i feel that i don't have right now.   not quite sure as to why.  maybe, it is more of a direction issue than traction?  or, maybe it is a combination of both, and of varying combinations depending on the aspect of my life that we are talking about.  wow, this could be a really long and winding internal discussion that i am about to put to "paper".

life "buckets"; spiritual, personal and  professional.

spiritually, it feels like i am stagnant.  it seems like i have lost my focus, i have stopped reading my daily excerpts, i have stopped with yoga, i have stopped.  this is not a good place for me to be.  now, i would say that i am not carrying around hostile energy for other peoples or even their actions.   i do feel that i am of good intentions, or at least i am being honest with other people, especially as it relates to relationships.  with all of that said, i do feel this heaviness upon me.  as i say that, it feels almost as if that could be for this lack of traction or direction that i ultimately feel.  

don't you usually add weight to something to help it get traction, or am i just thinking as a person who is living in an snow-belt area?

so, what is the source of this weight?  expectations for myself from me?  from others?  external views of my life? regret? fear? an overactive brain? 

to answer simply, it is yes. 

ok, great.  now, which of those can i truly impact or "control"?  honestly, i can only control me, and my brain.  i have to get my expectations under control.  i have to be truly honest about what i can accomplish in situations.  i need to understand that times like this will occur, and that i will have to find my way through them.  the solution can be varied, and likely will be.  it may even be something that i did before.   i will find a way through this, as i have previously.   and, once i do i will gain both traction and direction. 

the act of putting these words from my mind to "paper" is a definite start.  and, i think i need to get back to my spirituality, as a way to quiet my mind.  the last few evenings i have had wonderful nights of sleep, maybe it helps that i was working off a cold.  early to bed, and lots of calming sleep.   so, i know that i can quiet my mind, just need to do it more.   time to get "comfortable with uncertainty" again. :)

and, i need to get pass a milestone that i set for myself.  pass a certification test in a few weeks.  i know this is weighing on my mind, and that is good.  nervous is a good thing, it means it matters.  use the additional weight to add more traction to the effort and maintain the direction and move past the milestone.  :)

finally, am i truly able to move past my life in portland?  this is a tough question.  should i move past this part of my life?  i do still think it was the right decision for me at the time to move away.   but, would there ever be a reason to go back?  well, those questions seem like very weighty, and i need to remove some weight first before i tackle those.  :)   (maybe, if asked by the right person)

traction and direction.  you need both to get anywhere you set you milestone.



-ttjr

2 Michael Lewis Books...FANTASTIC

recently, i finished to fantastic books from michael lewis.   

the first book, Boomerang: Travels in the New Third World.

it deals with the whole financial, global recession.  really, offers an interesting perspective.  i would suggest you give it a read, it is pretty quick.   

however, i was struck by the quote below from Isocrates:

" Democracy destroys itself because it abuses its right to freedom and equality. Because it teaches its citizens to consider audacity as a right, lawlessness as a freedom, abrasive speech as equality, and anarchy as progress"

i know that i have touched on that them a few times before, even on here.  :)    something we should all think about sometime. 

the second book, Moneyball.  i read this after i watched the movie, and yes all it does is verify the FACT that the book is ALWAYS better.   but, whatever it takes to get people to read is fine with me.

and, i was struck by another line in the book, which is actually a rule that Billy Beane uses around the trade deadline.

"No matter how succesful you are, change is always good. There can never be a status quo.  When you have no money you can't afford long-term solutions, only short-term ones.  You have to always be upgrading.  Otherwise, you're fucked." 

this quote i think is something that everyone should be looking at, and evaluating how their life is applicable.   and, yes it is.   we always need to be improving and changes.  to be static is to be dead.
i really suggest this book to everyone, even no baseball fans.   it is about changing when you know the current way WILL NOT work.




enjoy both of these books.
-tffjr

the pinnacle

pretty basic idea, right?   i could go through several different metaphors, or catch-phrases to illustrate the point.

however, that would be a non-valued added activity.   i think it is important that i continue to improve on making the expressions of my ideas as clear and concise as possible.

i was thinking about the word pinnacle yesterday.   it was in response to a good friend asking if i would be a part of his wedding party.  i immediately said yes, as this is an honor that i don't take lightly.   i knew about the wedding but the inclusion in the wedding party was a recent change.   of course, i start to wonder about what i would say for my toast at the reception.   short story even shorter, i would mention how their wedding day was the pinnacle of their relationship...at this point.  

now, i would hope that the relationship would continue to grow, expand, and find new pinnacles.  i know they will.

however, it stirred ideas in myself about what pinnacles i have left for my life.  of course, which ones did i already achieve.   and, yes we have all achieve some pinnacles or you can call them life goals.

i don't know that i have but only one true pinnacle left.   it is something that i use to keep my focused or to work through a shitty situation.   i really just want to be a loving and loved person.    it isn't materialistic.  it is about being proud of what i do, and having others proud to have me involved in their life regardless of how small it may have been or currently is.    as a person, we are more than what we "own", we are the culmination of all our relationships;  the past, present and future.  

so, that is what i strive for.   is everytime that i meet a person, have i left them better than before?   it can be a simple as a simple or laugh.    i think i am doing pretty well but i know there is more that i can and will do.

just my thoughts.
-tffjr

practice for any and every thing

yeah.  everything can be practiced.  and everything should be practiced, if you want to improve.
now, i saw practice and all i am saying is that you have to perform activities that you wish to improve.

cooking, ironing clothes, driving in winter conditions, listening, writing, reading, speaking effectively, fishing, running, or whatever the activity.

seems like a fairly simple and obvious statement.   however, i am never at a loss of amazement when people seem to be surprised by this statement.   it almost seems like it is a corollary to the statement/ rule of 'becoming an expert of something after 10,000 hours' of performing that task.   and, of course the 'practice makes perfect' speech we all got from coaches or teachers when we were kids....or at least when we were shorter for those of us still classifiable as kids.

why am i bringing this up?  i got to 'practice' some tasks this week that i have not performed in a long time.   one was giving evaluations to somebody giving a speech.   i attended a workshop from my local toastmasters club that was teaching effective ways to evaluate.   it was really good to be able to offer evaluations and engage in conversations about evaluations.   such a simple and easy commitment of me.  it felt really good to have that exposure and then to figure how to keep applying that to my regular life, including work.

the second was attending a networking event this week.   i used to attend a bunch, especially when i was very under-employeed.   the event was dealing with metrics as they relate to project management, and it was a very enjoyable and learning experience.    shouldn't all stuff be enjoyable?  i mean why else are you doing?   it was a powerful session, and i felt that i left with some good feedback on the use of metrics, and i felt that i conveyed some good points to the other attendees.

was that the key?  did i just feel that i had validated myself in a sense?  we all want to feel that are inputs are respected, appreciated, and valuable to others.   i think so.   i was glad that i went and participated.

so, i continue to practice and practice.  

what about you?  what do you need to practice?

-tffjr

not just me...

my usual sunday morning involves reading the viewpoints section of the paper.   to be honest, it is nice to know from the start of reading an article that there will be a bias to the article.   this is how it should be with opinion pieces.   unfortunately, it seems this is the case even when reading 'news' articles.  but, that is  another topic for another time.

ok.   where was i?  right.   viewpoints in the paper.   i came across an essay that was written by an educator who was wondering about the impact of technology on children in our society.   i clearly got the impression that the saturation of technology in current daily life is preventing children from effectively learning those skills needed to function in a healthy society.   you know those silly things like empathy, critical thinking, actually talking to living persons, and that always tricky one listening.

i couldn't have agreed with her take more.  hell, i think i even have written about it or at least the side effect of so much technology.   in a selfish way, it helped to validate my thinking on this and suggests that i am not all that far from the norm.   not that i felt like i was but we all do like to be validated at points in our life.   at least i hope we do.

of course, in my attempts at humor and irony, i posted this story to facebook.   what better way to highlight the "perils" of technology/social media-networking?   i could think of no other.   even funnier was a response that i got from somebody posting from their iphone.  

hey, i feel like i am trying to push along the conversation and maybe open an eye or two.   and, if that gets a person back on a 'normal' path than i am glad.  i should say that i don't think this is isolated to children because adults are just as bad.  and, where do you think the kids get it from?      yep.   exactly.

just my 2 cents.

-tffjr

Timely Responses

i know this is a day early.  or is it?  i mean who the hell even reads this damn think.  :)

clearly, somebody has a fucked up set of bookmarks or a horrible search engine to get to this forest of rambling thoughts.   maybe, it is a orphanage of runaway thought?   hmm.  book title for my memoirs?

check back in 20 years.

but, i digress... as usual.

timely responses.   it should be a pretty easy concept to grasp.  when you initiate contact with an individual either on a professional or personal level, you expect that person to reciprocate at a minimum with a response.   it could be a simple as 'message received' or 'thank you'.   just something to acknowledge the other person's time.    

this all started from an accepted linkedin invitation response i received this week.   when i looked at the name, i had no idea who the person was.   of course, i start to wonder if this was some sort of spam/hack/etc.   it turns out that is was a response to an invite that i had sent out back in june 2009.   to be quite honest i have no recollection of the person.   over 2 years.   i think that would definitely not fall into the timely-response bucket.    well, that got the ole gears turning.

but, maybe i need to break timely response into its 2 components.  they can be 2 very different items.   my above statement seemed to be more about an actual response.  so, lets break them apart.

first, let's talk or continue to talk about a response.

as, i said it seems like such a simple act to just say thank you when you receive something.  i am sure we can all remember having to write, in hand, our thank-you notes for gifts.   this was always a task that was required after christmas and my birthday.   i recall a few times when mother's attention was laser-focused on my letter completion.   however, it was a good thing for me to do.  it established a certain level of responsibility and gratitude in me.    fast-forward to our 'space-age' of communication methods.   it seems like it should be so much easier to acknowledge the receipt of some sort of communication from anyone.  

and, before i get going to far on a rant, i will confess that i have been guilty of this very thing.   i am not trying to pass judgement.  i am just trying to bring things to light.  you can't fix what you don't is broken.  i think that i am really good about responding to personal communciations.   well, except for those generic  blasts around the holidays.   i consider those the same as spam or junk mail and i don't respond to those.

ok, my misses tend to be more related to work issues.   you say that you will get back to somebody on a review of a presentation or something minor.   we all do it.  i have to admit that i try to always acknowledge a person's communication and respond if i am require too.   also, i only send out materials that are truly required.  i feel that we are so swamped with communications that we can forget to respond.   but, it also falls to me to pull that information/response if it is truly needed.   and, i think i do that.  i try to insure that a person does have enough time to respond.

so, where does this put me know?

well, i will continue to send emails, texts, calls to people i care about.   i will try to not make them superficial but significant.   i will keep an open mind to their schedules BUT i will have to at some point convey the importance of them acknowledging my part.   nothing worse than a one-sided relationship but sometimes people need a little more from you.  we have to be willing to allow the ebb and flow of relationships, and know that at a later time they will do the same for you.

and, i will just make sure that i am practicing what i preach.   much easier said than done.  especially in our society these days.   and, i will continue to remember responsibility and accountability.   and, i can only control my life.  others.   well, you are on your own but i am willing to help however i can.  just ask.

well, i think i am good.  this was good for me.   you?  well, you could always leave a timely response/comment...like right after you read this.  :)

-tffjr

dreams...

i just wonder if people really are aware of what today is about.   have we gotten to a point where this dream is being realized?   maybe.  maybe not.  but, i do think we are adding more dreams that we want to obtain.   and, that isn't all that bad of a thing.  we all need to keep striving for something more in our lives that hopefully gives to others as much as it gives to ourselves.

and, i am definitely in a place where i have more dreams than nightmares.   what about you?

-tffjr

Winter's Arrival

well, winter has definitely arrived in the greater buffalo area.

as you can see, there is snow on the ground but the sun is out and it makes the 14degree afternoon seem bearable.  :)

TANGENT DISCUSSION:
can you believe that i just took a picture and added it to this journal-like entry?  the truly impressive part is that i did it all in under minute.  very simple tasks at least in this modern society.  could you imagine the time and external costs of this simple task?  hell, would this have even been conceived of back in 1980?
i truly feel that we do lose sight of how far technology has become interwoven in our personal lives.  so, much that we don't even think about it at times.  

work is another area where i tend to see the dichotomy of life with/without technology.   some projects are   basically moving a business unit toward a more automated, less manual process which is moving toward more technology.  other projects deal with analysis of data, and sometimes that data is compiled by old fashioned counting on physical pieces of paper, rather than pulling data from a database.    and,  every time the data is just as reliable with the old method BUT often much slower.  i have to admit that sometimes i prefer the old ways because it give me a physical sense of what i am doing.    and, i think we all need that physical interaction at times, it makes the experience more intense and easier to convey impacts/importance to others.

so, what am i say?  don't let the technology be the focal point, it should only enhance something.


BACK TO WINTER:
i am still out with the jury on if it is a good or bad thing.  :)   i am really quite split on the whole matter.   i can see both sides of the argument.   the key part is that you really can't put anything off for to long.  sooner or later the piper wants to be paid....and he will be paid.  don't keep pushing stuff off because it only makes it more difficult to deal with in the long run. sure, you feel better today and even next week BUT 2 years later it will really suck.

what is the key take away from my rambling mind?   short term gain will never prevent long-term pain.   and, short-term pain is ALWAYS much less than the long-term pain.  take your lumps,  learn from it, and then enjoy those long-term rewards.  


so, to recap:
winter, phone, picture, bluetooth, computer, upload, technology, paper, short v. long term.

hopefully, you followed that.  if not, at least i got my writing exercise done for today.  ;)

-tffjr