not just me...

my usual sunday morning involves reading the viewpoints section of the paper.   to be honest, it is nice to know from the start of reading an article that there will be a bias to the article.   this is how it should be with opinion pieces.   unfortunately, it seems this is the case even when reading 'news' articles.  but, that is  another topic for another time.

ok.   where was i?  right.   viewpoints in the paper.   i came across an essay that was written by an educator who was wondering about the impact of technology on children in our society.   i clearly got the impression that the saturation of technology in current daily life is preventing children from effectively learning those skills needed to function in a healthy society.   you know those silly things like empathy, critical thinking, actually talking to living persons, and that always tricky one listening.

i couldn't have agreed with her take more.  hell, i think i even have written about it or at least the side effect of so much technology.   in a selfish way, it helped to validate my thinking on this and suggests that i am not all that far from the norm.   not that i felt like i was but we all do like to be validated at points in our life.   at least i hope we do.

of course, in my attempts at humor and irony, i posted this story to facebook.   what better way to highlight the "perils" of technology/social media-networking?   i could think of no other.   even funnier was a response that i got from somebody posting from their iphone.  

hey, i feel like i am trying to push along the conversation and maybe open an eye or two.   and, if that gets a person back on a 'normal' path than i am glad.  i should say that i don't think this is isolated to children because adults are just as bad.  and, where do you think the kids get it from?      yep.   exactly.

just my 2 cents.

-tffjr

Timely Responses

i know this is a day early.  or is it?  i mean who the hell even reads this damn think.  :)

clearly, somebody has a fucked up set of bookmarks or a horrible search engine to get to this forest of rambling thoughts.   maybe, it is a orphanage of runaway thought?   hmm.  book title for my memoirs?

check back in 20 years.

but, i digress... as usual.

timely responses.   it should be a pretty easy concept to grasp.  when you initiate contact with an individual either on a professional or personal level, you expect that person to reciprocate at a minimum with a response.   it could be a simple as 'message received' or 'thank you'.   just something to acknowledge the other person's time.    

this all started from an accepted linkedin invitation response i received this week.   when i looked at the name, i had no idea who the person was.   of course, i start to wonder if this was some sort of spam/hack/etc.   it turns out that is was a response to an invite that i had sent out back in june 2009.   to be quite honest i have no recollection of the person.   over 2 years.   i think that would definitely not fall into the timely-response bucket.    well, that got the ole gears turning.

but, maybe i need to break timely response into its 2 components.  they can be 2 very different items.   my above statement seemed to be more about an actual response.  so, lets break them apart.

first, let's talk or continue to talk about a response.

as, i said it seems like such a simple act to just say thank you when you receive something.  i am sure we can all remember having to write, in hand, our thank-you notes for gifts.   this was always a task that was required after christmas and my birthday.   i recall a few times when mother's attention was laser-focused on my letter completion.   however, it was a good thing for me to do.  it established a certain level of responsibility and gratitude in me.    fast-forward to our 'space-age' of communication methods.   it seems like it should be so much easier to acknowledge the receipt of some sort of communication from anyone.  

and, before i get going to far on a rant, i will confess that i have been guilty of this very thing.   i am not trying to pass judgement.  i am just trying to bring things to light.  you can't fix what you don't is broken.  i think that i am really good about responding to personal communciations.   well, except for those generic  blasts around the holidays.   i consider those the same as spam or junk mail and i don't respond to those.

ok, my misses tend to be more related to work issues.   you say that you will get back to somebody on a review of a presentation or something minor.   we all do it.  i have to admit that i try to always acknowledge a person's communication and respond if i am require too.   also, i only send out materials that are truly required.  i feel that we are so swamped with communications that we can forget to respond.   but, it also falls to me to pull that information/response if it is truly needed.   and, i think i do that.  i try to insure that a person does have enough time to respond.

so, where does this put me know?

well, i will continue to send emails, texts, calls to people i care about.   i will try to not make them superficial but significant.   i will keep an open mind to their schedules BUT i will have to at some point convey the importance of them acknowledging my part.   nothing worse than a one-sided relationship but sometimes people need a little more from you.  we have to be willing to allow the ebb and flow of relationships, and know that at a later time they will do the same for you.

and, i will just make sure that i am practicing what i preach.   much easier said than done.  especially in our society these days.   and, i will continue to remember responsibility and accountability.   and, i can only control my life.  others.   well, you are on your own but i am willing to help however i can.  just ask.

well, i think i am good.  this was good for me.   you?  well, you could always leave a timely response/comment...like right after you read this.  :)

-tffjr

dreams...

i just wonder if people really are aware of what today is about.   have we gotten to a point where this dream is being realized?   maybe.  maybe not.  but, i do think we are adding more dreams that we want to obtain.   and, that isn't all that bad of a thing.  we all need to keep striving for something more in our lives that hopefully gives to others as much as it gives to ourselves.

and, i am definitely in a place where i have more dreams than nightmares.   what about you?

-tffjr

Winter's Arrival

well, winter has definitely arrived in the greater buffalo area.

as you can see, there is snow on the ground but the sun is out and it makes the 14degree afternoon seem bearable.  :)

TANGENT DISCUSSION:
can you believe that i just took a picture and added it to this journal-like entry?  the truly impressive part is that i did it all in under minute.  very simple tasks at least in this modern society.  could you imagine the time and external costs of this simple task?  hell, would this have even been conceived of back in 1980?
i truly feel that we do lose sight of how far technology has become interwoven in our personal lives.  so, much that we don't even think about it at times.  

work is another area where i tend to see the dichotomy of life with/without technology.   some projects are   basically moving a business unit toward a more automated, less manual process which is moving toward more technology.  other projects deal with analysis of data, and sometimes that data is compiled by old fashioned counting on physical pieces of paper, rather than pulling data from a database.    and,  every time the data is just as reliable with the old method BUT often much slower.  i have to admit that sometimes i prefer the old ways because it give me a physical sense of what i am doing.    and, i think we all need that physical interaction at times, it makes the experience more intense and easier to convey impacts/importance to others.

so, what am i say?  don't let the technology be the focal point, it should only enhance something.


BACK TO WINTER:
i am still out with the jury on if it is a good or bad thing.  :)   i am really quite split on the whole matter.   i can see both sides of the argument.   the key part is that you really can't put anything off for to long.  sooner or later the piper wants to be paid....and he will be paid.  don't keep pushing stuff off because it only makes it more difficult to deal with in the long run. sure, you feel better today and even next week BUT 2 years later it will really suck.

what is the key take away from my rambling mind?   short term gain will never prevent long-term pain.   and, short-term pain is ALWAYS much less than the long-term pain.  take your lumps,  learn from it, and then enjoy those long-term rewards.  


so, to recap:
winter, phone, picture, bluetooth, computer, upload, technology, paper, short v. long term.

hopefully, you followed that.  if not, at least i got my writing exercise done for today.  ;)

-tffjr

2012's Flynn List

2012 has been rolling along for 7 full days now.  to be quite honest, it seems the same as 2011, 2010, but not like 2009.   :)

now, i am not trying to say that a new year isn't a good thing.  i am all for something that a person can use as a 'line in the sand' to help them make positive changes.   hey, i know that i need the reminders that i need to keep improving.  

so, this year i am making a list of things that i would like to accomplish for myself.   it really is kinda like a  continuation of my bucket list.   yes, i have a bucket list.   just something to help me keep a big picture of what i want to do and the person i want to become.

and, they say when you make a document like this public, it becomes more difficult to conveniently forget about your goals, resolution, or whatever you call it.

so, with no further ado, the 2012 Flynn List:

1. SixSigma Black Belt certification
2. Buffalo 1/2 Marathon
3. Complete 1 advanced speech manual for Toastmasters 
4. Hockey Hall of Fame
5. Baseball Hall of Fame
6. Niagara Falls
7. Visit at least 2 'new' cities
8. No more 'benders'
9. Improve the quality of my communications with my friends 

the list seems pretty simple, huh?  some of the items have been on my bucket list already, but this seems like a great time to make it happen.   i think the important part to any type of list like this is to balance items that are fun with those that will make you grow as a person.   sure, it is great to go to places and have fun, but if you are unhappy in your soul then what is the point?   hey, i am all for being unhappy at times, it truly is from this point that we grow as a person.  i do speak from experience.

so, what is my little bit of departing wisdom?

easy.  figure out what you want to accomplish or at least something you want to work toward.  write it down.  tell somebody.  be accountable.  be willing to try and maybe even fail.  be realistic.  be honest. be vulnerable.  be you.  and, if you don't want to be you than work on becoming the 'you' you want.

-tffjr

merry christmas.

the title?  well, that relates to the number of page views i had today.   i think that must be the most ever on a single day.   i guess that is my present from the "web".  :)   honestly, it is nice to know that my words are at least being seen.  are they having an impact?  well, i can only speak for myself but they do help me to put words to "paper".   so, to my "viewers"i say thank you.

holidays are a tough time of the year.   at least for me.   it makes me miss people who are no longer in my life.  i miss them but i also remember how important they were in my life.   and, that always leads me back to the idea of making the most out of my time with people in my life.   and, i have to tell ya that is always a good idea.

that is my wish for everyone, to get the most out of their relationships with the people in their lives.   and, to also be looking to make new relationships with people.

that thought make me smile.  and, now i want to change my take on holidays.   they are tough and rewarding.  yeah, that is makes more sense.   tough is fine.  we grow from situations that are not easy.   i mean we all have heard the phrase, "no pain no gain".    i have been through all this before, so i won't repeat it as a christmas gift to all my "followers"

reflection is wonderful.   but, it can cause stagnation.   we all need to remember what we had, where we were, who was with us, and how we got from there to here.     (not to sure on this idea's path)

so, let me live you with this.   tell people you care about that you care about them, simple as that.

oh, and don't do a blanket text message.   at least put the person's name in the damn message.   baby jesus would want you to.  :)


merry christmas.   oh, and i can ask one thing?   if you read this, can you just leave a comment, as simple as your name.   consider it a christmas gift.


-TFFjr

My Christmas List

this started with a quick FB posting.   it was a "Dear Santa, Please keep the troops safe" posting.

but, it got me thinking of a whole "christmas/ wish list.   so here goes:

Dear Santa,

Here is my wishlist.   I know you are a busy guy, so I understand if some of this stuff will take a little longer.   Thanks in advance.   -TFFjr

1. Our Troops,  Keep them safe & get them back to their families as quick as possible.

2. My Family, Please convey how important they are to me and I am truly blessed to have them in my life.

3. Friends, I really forget to let them know how much I miss them.   I often take our relationships for granted, and never realized the importance until I don't see them daily.  Let them know that I will make work to make more contact.

4. DRV, Please keep an eye on her.  She is a wonderful person who deserves as much happiness as you can squeeze in that sleigh of yours.

5. Grandma,  I miss her dearly.  I am sure she is doing here crosswords 'upstairs' with the people she loves.  Let her know that I am not gonna be there for a very long time.

6. Mel,  Please make sure that her baby-girl will be healthy and be the handful I know she was growing up.

7. My roommates (lol),  The 'rent checks' are coming.  

8. Buffalo,  Please keep the snow away.  I think the city is actually enjoying it.

9. Bills Fan,  A new team owner.

10. Sabres Fan,  A blockbuster trade OR something to kickstart this team.

11. Politicians,  AS MUCH COAL AS YOU CAN CARRY!!!!!

12. America, An honest assessment of where the country is and the moral strength to make DIFFICULT DECISIONS.

13. Future Me,  Let him know that I am working on getting better everyday and I think he will like what shows up to meet him.

Happy Holidays.

-TFFjr

life is...

... tough.
... what you make of it.

we have all heard those phrases.  right?   i am making an assumption.  if you haven't then stop, go outside and talk to somebody until you hear it.

welcome back.

my personal feeling is that the 2 statements should be combined into:
"LIFE IS TOUGH BECAUSE OF HOW YOU MAKE IT"


to often people do not acknowledge their own component in where their life is.   when all is well, it is "hey I did that".  but, when it is bad, it is "hey they did that".   i am no different.   i have said both those statements, and sometimes as a run-on sentence.  :)    now of course we live in a big world with extensive interactions with people, groups, etc.   and, anytime you have that many interactions there will always be some things that aren't in your best interest.  

BUT.

i recently had an adventure that made this new statement seem very obvious to me.   it is the choices we make that define our life.   and, if you make 'bad' choices then of course life is gonna get tougher.  so, find a way to make smarter and better decisions.  will this eliminate all the toughness of life?  hell no.  but, it will sure as hell minimize it.

Editorial Note:
i had really big plans for this thought initially.  was really gonna drop the word-hammer on it.
well, i got tied up into other stuff and the train never really got the steam going to power through.
i am sure my loyal reader(s) can understand and are laughing now.

-just a few more thoughts

sigh...

the holiday is over. with a second just a few weeks away. seems like the first one is about be grateful for what you have and where your life is. the next one feels like it is more about wishing where you can be and what you can add to your life. and, that doesn't seem like such a bad thing; the ying to the the yang. maybe that order works too, know what you have and then you can look to see what you can add.

( i look at this screen, and i want to put more words on it. my mind feels like it is running a marathon is mud. legs moving but no real movement. i am tired of seeing the issue but being unable to resolve it. hell, one might say that i have not truly identified the problem. note: like 5minutes passed from that last sentence)

i offer no insight to anybody. possibly, i offer a glimpse to my issues, my insights, my ways and maybe that offers something to folks. we all need to resolve our issues and yes, we do need assistance from others. however, we each have to be ready to acknowledge ourselves, seek assistance, and work through the process of change.

i am moody. i am overweight. i am not balding but i am greying. i am living with my parents. i am unemployed. i have good friend but i don't ask for help. i have a sense of humor that mixes sarcasm, filth, current events, and makes people smile. i have great teeth. i need to smile more. i have loved and lost. i have broken hearts and have had mine broken. i am helpless romantic. i am a great cook. i love my new car. i have been to europe. i have driven across the country. i love my family. i cry during some movies. i have been fired. i swear to much. i don't go to church but i believe is something that is more than me. i love pbr. i love pizza.

i love that i wrote this. again, it wasn't for you but it was for me. sure, i have some shit that sucks in my life but i have some great stuff too. strike the balance between those two side.

it is like somebody once said to me, over wild turkeys, " there is always somebody worse off than you and there is always somebody better off that you"

i leave with that thought.

Thankful.

sure, that is an easy title for something to write about given Thanksgiving is this week.

to often we lose sight of this holiday. we think of the gluttony that will ensue for a few days. diets are placed on hold. televisions are put on extra duty, if we could watch 25hrs we would. football is consumed only slightly less than turkey, stuffing, and pumpkin cheesecake.

hey, my blog so my menu.

however, i truly find this holiday (and maybe all of them) is about family. it is a time to be grateful that these people are in your life. oh, and family is how ever you wish to define it. :)

and, sometimes it is about remembering those members of your family that have moved on.

last year, my grandmother passed away in october. she had lived a long life but finally decided that she ready to go. and, she was living out in california near my aunt. grandma was a person who never wanted to be a "bother" to anyone, especially her family. maybe, that is a family trait? :)

what does this have to do with thanksgiving? my mom decided that she wanted to put bury my grandmother's ashes with her family in buffalo. i was coming home for thanksgiving, so it was decided to have a small ceremony the day after thanksgiving. and, i am glad that happened. now, it will always remind me to think and remember how special my grandmother was to me.

pumpkin-head(l) and pauline(r) -1975

thanksgiving, now carries something more for me than it used to. and, it all came back to me when i heard about a friend's father passing away this past saturday. she will be coming back to buffalo for thanksgiving and the funeral. i expressed my very heart-felt condolences and really did have an idea of what she could be feeling. ( i say could because we all grieve in our own way)

but, i am sure she is grateful to be supporting and supported by her family. she must be remembering all of those wonderful times about her father.

so, i guess i will leave with you this. be grateful for the time you have with anyone, but especially with those that are truly important to you. squeeze every bit out of those experiences. and, really examine what you are truly thankful for.

God Bless All of your wonderful troops.

-pauline & pumpkin-head