sigh...

the holiday is over. with a second just a few weeks away. seems like the first one is about be grateful for what you have and where your life is. the next one feels like it is more about wishing where you can be and what you can add to your life. and, that doesn't seem like such a bad thing; the ying to the the yang. maybe that order works too, know what you have and then you can look to see what you can add.

( i look at this screen, and i want to put more words on it. my mind feels like it is running a marathon is mud. legs moving but no real movement. i am tired of seeing the issue but being unable to resolve it. hell, one might say that i have not truly identified the problem. note: like 5minutes passed from that last sentence)

i offer no insight to anybody. possibly, i offer a glimpse to my issues, my insights, my ways and maybe that offers something to folks. we all need to resolve our issues and yes, we do need assistance from others. however, we each have to be ready to acknowledge ourselves, seek assistance, and work through the process of change.

i am moody. i am overweight. i am not balding but i am greying. i am living with my parents. i am unemployed. i have good friend but i don't ask for help. i have a sense of humor that mixes sarcasm, filth, current events, and makes people smile. i have great teeth. i need to smile more. i have loved and lost. i have broken hearts and have had mine broken. i am helpless romantic. i am a great cook. i love my new car. i have been to europe. i have driven across the country. i love my family. i cry during some movies. i have been fired. i swear to much. i don't go to church but i believe is something that is more than me. i love pbr. i love pizza.

i love that i wrote this. again, it wasn't for you but it was for me. sure, i have some shit that sucks in my life but i have some great stuff too. strike the balance between those two side.

it is like somebody once said to me, over wild turkeys, " there is always somebody worse off than you and there is always somebody better off that you"

i leave with that thought.