He said WHAT?

i was doing something that required my mind to blank out the other day.   it was running or biking, really can't recall at this moment and quite frankly it doesn't matter.   but, during this event i started thinking about a politician that was giving a speech and the whole time the audience is going "he said what?!"

ok, sure the timing seems very "convenient" and maybe even the premise is recycled from previous cinematic endeavors.   i am thinking the "Bulworth" (?) with warren beatty and "The Candidate" with robert redford.    well, i am a big fan of the idea that there are only a few real ideas and they just get re-packaged and re-marketed for new generations.    don't believe, just look at hollywood.

and, i should say that i was thinking along the lines of trying to give a humorous speech.  it seemed like this could be a good way to mix some of my pent up frustration with the toxic political environment,  and generate material for a humorous speech.

so, this is where i am deciding to keep my notes.   i mean i have left some other unique stuff on here.   :)
****

Haven't we all thought how wonderful it would truly be to have an honest politician.  One that was actually speaking to us like we were an adult.  One that was telling us what we needed to hear rather than what we wanted to hear.   A politician who was truly a leader rather than a servant.   Today is your day when that thought becomes reality.  Today we get a glimpse at this thought playing out in front of our eyes. Today, I give you Thomas F. Lynne, Jr. who is giving his initial campaign kick-off speech for his state government elections.   Are we seeing something in the works here that could blossom into higher aspirations for this young, brash, and at times funny young political upstart?
I can not answer that question, but maybe together we can watch and find out.   Ok, let take a peak.
   
Good Morning, ladies and gentlemen of the Clarence Toastmasters club.  It truly is an honor to be here to speak with you today.   I as a member of Toastmasters know that your meetings are allocated for your own members to speak, learn, and grow.  I am truly humbled by your generosity.

So, why am I here today bogarting your meeting?   Well, I am here to let you in on a little secret, my intention to run for state government.   Now, I wonder if that is truly a secret anymore with my use of Twit-Book,  My-Face, and my lowest rated podcast in the greater buffalo/rochester area; "Click This-ShutUP- Listen".  (Hey, I am in first place if you start your alphabet with Z)

Well, that is wonderful you say.   And, you are correct to say that.   It is wonderful because it is my plan to give you the straight dope.   Consider me you own personal "Dr Feelgood".  I am gonna tell you stuff that you probably already know, probably already discuss with your peers, but have never hear a person from the questionable profession of politcs ever say.   Sometimes, I wonder and maybe you do as well, if politics is really short for political sabotage.   I am mean does anything related to politics ever get done?   And, last time I thumbed through a Webster's to the S section and purused sabotage, it mentioned something about preventing something from being completed.   Hey, i am just putting the dots out there...you connect them as you see fit.
But, back to my Dr Feelgood.  I will give you this first taste for free...just like all good pushers.  :)
After that, I am gonna ask that you continue to get you fix and all I ask is that you "spread the disease".

So, what is wrong?  I am glad that you asked and I guess you didn't know that I could read minds.
Well, the problem stems from all of us as a society are living with our head up our proverbial asses.   Yeap!  I really don't know how much simpler I can make that message.    Now, due to the early nature of our meeting, I won't ask you to repeat it back to me.  But, I get a clear sense that there is agreement.
But, fear not we are making progress.   First thing to fixing a problem is to identify the problem, and clearly a head up the ass is a problem on several levels.   I mean you can not see where you are, where you going, and not to mention the smell and constipation.   But, I digress.


<more to follow>

Thanks, Dad.

happy father's day.  yes, a day for all of us to acknowledge that special male in our lives.  the guy who helped you learn to throw the baseball, or how to fish, or peaked your interest in sports, cars, or any of those manly things.  :)     

sometimes, i think dads get a little short-changed.  and, this is to take nothing away from moms.  i think moms are 1A and dads are 1B, and i think the whole 9month thing tips it toward the moms.  :)

however, i know that i am the person i am because of both of my parents; mom and dad.   my dad is not my biological father but that means nothing to me or to him.   he has raised me as his own since the beginning and i am ETERNALLY GRATEFUL.   

lucky weekend

relax.  maybe, lucky is the wrong word.   anyways.   i was able to witness a couple come together in the ultimate commitment, marriage.   now, i am not a huge marriage person, because i don't believe a piece of paper makes a couple anymore in love.    but, with all of that said, i do love to go to weddings.   and, maybe it is when they are more casual, and really just an expression of the couple's love for each other and their desire to share with people close to them.   i mean, how can you not like that...especially when it is catered and open-bar.  :)    seriously.

my friends mel and ryan got married this last weekend, and allowed me to join them.   i am truly grateful.   it was a wonderful day, and really quite warming to watch 2 friends in love with each other and taking that their remaining steps together through life.   i felt no regrets as to where my life is right now, but more  empowered to keep looking for that type of happiness.  sometimes, we all need to see that "it works" and that we just need to work a little harder for it to happen to us.   it was really just a wonderful experience.   maybe, it helps that i was comfortable with myself to really enjoy the whole experience; meeting new people, sharing stories, laughing, and shedding a tear from joy and not pain.

just a great experience.   and, i will admit that it shocked me how grateful they were to have me join them.  funny.  but, maybe that is what it is all about.    spending with time with people whose company you really enjoy.    sometimes, they are new people in your life OR from very early in your life.   it doesn't matter.  all that matters is that everyone grows from these shared experiences.

and, i spent a wonderful afternoon with a friend with great food and even better conversation.  it was both insightful, and funny.   that is the key.   do your friends bring you joy but also make you think/challenge yourself to improve?   i do feel that i have more questions to answer but we only grow through searching for answers.  and, sometimes we don't even get the answer.    oh well.

well, i just wanted to get these thoughts out there.   

-tffjr

:)

Good things are what you allow to happen.  
We all have to be willing to allow them to happen.  And, yes sometimes they don't happen at our schedule or timetable.  That is life.   However, you just have to keep an open mind, open eye, and open heart.
No real insight today.  Just acknowledging that we have a bigger hand in how our life goes, especially when things aren't going great.  

Have a great day/week/month/year...

-tffjr

Looking Back

sometimes, i wonder if we ever really want to look back?
i am bringing this up because i have been looking back at some of my previous blog postings.
what have i found?  typos!  i usually see about 2 or 3.  they seem to deal more with an extra word or two. spelling is good but that is likely an artifact of the spelling checks that happen.  however, there is still no replacement for reading through your document.  :)   i guess all those English teachers had it correct.

why the look back?  well, i was doing some research for a speech project for my toastmasters club.    these entries are just some of my thoughts captured, similar to a journal.   well, the exercise made me realize that i likely won't win a "blog-litzer" but the effort to record the ideas was still worth it.  and, i plan to continue.

i continue to keep moving forward but every once and awhile you do need to look backwards to see where you came from.   well, consider this just another check on where i have been.   and, i look forward to where i will be going.

just a thought.

-tffjr

Golden Silence?

we have all heard the phrase, "silence is golden" at some point in our lives.  hell, we might have even been the person to say the phrase.  to be honest, i feel like i have been more on the giving than the receiving side.   or, maybe is more related to my increase of years.   right?  kids don't seem to grasp the joy of silence.  and, parents would probably say that a quiet child is up to something.  in my case as likely documented by my parental units, would definitely concur.  parents worry when there is no side from a child.  and, i get that completely.   kids are to "spongy" to not be out there in life getting into something and learning.   you learn best by doing and maybe even better by failing....think of the hot stove/hand example.

however, i really do feel that silence is golden.  for me, this phrase really hits home when i think of the media.  yes, and this includes old, new, social, and anti-social media.  how many times can i be bombarded with the same trivial, insignificant, "spun-up", boring, un-related new "stories".   is it just an excuse for all of us to not think of our own situations?   i mean i get the whole needing to escape from reality for a small period, but it seems like that is all that we have.   i don't know.   i think i really need to run some miles and have this shit roll out of my head.   :)   it just looks like crap outside and i am not really motivated.  :)

but, back to silence.  do we ever really have any?   do we ever really want any?  would we truly ever know what true silence was?   i mean there is always the voice inside your head, right? 

does your voice sound like your own physical voice?  or does it sound like your ideal voice? 
i have to be honest with you, but i really can tell you about my voice.  hmm, i wonder what would  a shrink would say about this train of 'thought'.  

anyways.   well, no time like the present to do something.  so, i guess it is time to get those miles logged for today.

-tffjr

flashing back

never ceases to amaze me how a picture can talk you back.   now, i am a relatively young man, but it is pretty awesome to see what a difference 5 years can make.   aside from the lack of gray hair, i look about the same.  however, i can really get a sense of how different i have become.  maybe, that is more related to maturity and alot less jager.  ;)   but, i will say that i had some real nice hair, very wavy and i think it might be time to grow it back.

2007 was a pretty wild year.   i was definitely partying hard with my buddies.  i was a pretty care-free guy who was all about having fun and keeping the good times rolling until time for work.   :)

and, it got way better when i meet drv.   i really learned the value of a relationship and how it can truly lift you help and make you want to become more.  i could go on and on.  and, sometimes i often do while i am running my miles.  but, i don't wish to bore you.  :)

i miss smiling like this.  :)

however, you can't live in flash-backs.  have to live in the present, but we have to learn from our past so that we can maximize our future.   and, i am definitely learning.

-tffjr

observations and the rants they become.

i don't know about you but that is how it starts with me.  i see something and then the machine starts turning some mental gears and a rant is being developed.  nothing wrong with that, right?   it is a normal reaction to observing something.  you say, "that is strange"  or  maybe you are like me at sometimes and say, "what the fuck is that asshole thinking?"

personally, i can go in either direction.  and, often the direction is my mood.  funny, huh?   that damn mental state always poking around with their 2 cents.   (i can never find the damn cent symbol, you know the c with a vertical line through it)   fuck you, i know i was digressing.  :)

damn it.  i seriously forgot where i was planning to take this thread.  i am sure the world can hold their breath until i figure it out.   

(pause) 

( several longer drawn out pauses.  maybe, a trip for a beverage)

it did occur to me.  wait.  a more accurate phrasing would be, it reoccured to me that small and gestures really do seem to carry more weight.  often they are unexpected and that is probably why that have such a powerful impact.   i had 2 yesterday.   

the first was being surprised with the delivery of a birthday at my place of work.  my parents decided that would send a cake because they were going to be able to share one with me.   also, i think it was really the first time in a very long time that i had been home for a birthday with my parents.   maybe, it was a way for them to recapture a moment when we were all younger.   it really did move me.   now, i was surprised as anyone when my boss said i had a delivery at the front desk.   i should say that i am not a very big birthday guy, i tend to be very somber and reserved on the days.  well, co-workers asked questions and after lunch we cut cake and they hummed 'happy birthday'.  again, this simple gesture on their part was appreciated.  granted, i feel it was more out of good manners but it still did resonate with me.  i did appreciate.   i hope they saw that i appreciated the effort.

the second seems to be even simpler but carries more impact to me.  it was a simple email response.  granted it was from a very special person who was in my life for a period of time.   i had written her a short email earlier in the day, actually after cake.   it was  a pretty basic email;  "how are you, i am well, miss you".   in the past, i have sent emails and no response.  that is fine, funny how often emails go unanswered nowadays.   it was just something i wanted to do.    i remember the response (i should because this only happened yesterday), it was 2nd intermission at the sabres (fucking lost) and i was checking my phone.   i saw that i had a response.  i was nervous that i didn't answer right away, i just kinda stared for a few minutes.   well, i finally read the short email and it was a simple reply.  however, this simple act really gave me a reason to smile, even though the sabres were losing.   but, it just seemed to 

point out the importance of simple gestures.  

often, i think we tend to over think something.  we fail to remember the KISS motto; keep it simple, stupid.   simple is better.  less is more.   i feel that was the best re-gift that i could have gotten on my birthday.   :)

so, maybe not a rant by a drunken & angry standard.  :)  

but, still a worthy train of my thoughts.

-tffjr

crazy dreams

dreams are some crazy shit.  i have never put much stock in them, in terms of some future indication of things to happen.  and, usually we have some many dreams that the ones we recollect are just a tiny a fraction.   that alone might be something to indicate something, if i finally remember the dream then it had to be something pretty wild to make the brain sit up and notice.

well, here it goes, or at least what i remember:

i was somehow coaching a high school girl's basketball team in some sort of tournament.  the game was taking place as a "road" game, and similar to that hostile school hackman's team played at in 'hoosiers'.   anyways, we are at half-time and i am giving the team some half-time speech.   i make it pretty clear that i have no damn idea about x's and o's of basketball and will leave that to the assistant coach.  i am focusing on getting this team so emotionally fired up that they will run through walls, piss fire, whatever to win this game for each other.   i make it clear to them, this is not about me but rather for themselves.   and, then some fiery shit about taking this opportunity and shoving it down the other teams throat or up their ass.  i am not sure which.  either way, the message seems to be delivered to the team, as the whole time they are transfixed on my speech.   it was pretty cool.

however, the weird part was that i was giving this speech while the whole team was sitting in a big ass hot tub.   i know, what the fuck is that about.   and, then after the speech, and the team runs out for the second half, i am walking back to the court, and i noticed that my phone was in my suit pocket, wait for it, while i was in the hot-tub.   and, then i can not get the idea of how stupid i was to sit in a hot tub with my phone in my suit pocket.   notice, i don't seem to think it odd that i am sitting in a suit in a hot tub giving a speech to a women's basketball team.

see, there is some wacked out shit there.  i have no idea where to start or if even to start.  well, at least writing it down makes me laugh while i am typing.

key take away?

somebody needs to make a waterproof cellphone, and i am not talking about some case you put your phone it.  i mean i go to the cellphone booth in the mall and pick up a phone that i can sit in a hot tub with and it will still work so i can call my shrink about a crazy ass dream i just had.


whatever that was worth.  :)

-tffjr

waiting...

hurry up and wait.  seems like i am doing that alot.  airports are the ultimate example of that.  now, i am waiting for my flt back home. 

waiting makes me think about the good, the mistakes, the growth, the pain (both mine &  others), the future, the past, and  most importantly the present.

self-reflection, if more did it would be ALL truly be better as a world.   i don't know.  if you are truly aware of yourself and how you impact others, would that that make your decisions ...

i truly am rambling.  it isn't so easy to compose something on my phone's keyboard.

i am feeling stressed, so i am gonna get some greasy egg mcmuffins. 

-tffjr