observations and the rants they become.

i don't know about you but that is how it starts with me.  i see something and then the machine starts turning some mental gears and a rant is being developed.  nothing wrong with that, right?   it is a normal reaction to observing something.  you say, "that is strange"  or  maybe you are like me at sometimes and say, "what the fuck is that asshole thinking?"

personally, i can go in either direction.  and, often the direction is my mood.  funny, huh?   that damn mental state always poking around with their 2 cents.   (i can never find the damn cent symbol, you know the c with a vertical line through it)   fuck you, i know i was digressing.  :)

damn it.  i seriously forgot where i was planning to take this thread.  i am sure the world can hold their breath until i figure it out.   

(pause) 

( several longer drawn out pauses.  maybe, a trip for a beverage)

it did occur to me.  wait.  a more accurate phrasing would be, it reoccured to me that small and gestures really do seem to carry more weight.  often they are unexpected and that is probably why that have such a powerful impact.   i had 2 yesterday.   

the first was being surprised with the delivery of a birthday at my place of work.  my parents decided that would send a cake because they were going to be able to share one with me.   also, i think it was really the first time in a very long time that i had been home for a birthday with my parents.   maybe, it was a way for them to recapture a moment when we were all younger.   it really did move me.   now, i was surprised as anyone when my boss said i had a delivery at the front desk.   i should say that i am not a very big birthday guy, i tend to be very somber and reserved on the days.  well, co-workers asked questions and after lunch we cut cake and they hummed 'happy birthday'.  again, this simple gesture on their part was appreciated.  granted, i feel it was more out of good manners but it still did resonate with me.  i did appreciate.   i hope they saw that i appreciated the effort.

the second seems to be even simpler but carries more impact to me.  it was a simple email response.  granted it was from a very special person who was in my life for a period of time.   i had written her a short email earlier in the day, actually after cake.   it was  a pretty basic email;  "how are you, i am well, miss you".   in the past, i have sent emails and no response.  that is fine, funny how often emails go unanswered nowadays.   it was just something i wanted to do.    i remember the response (i should because this only happened yesterday), it was 2nd intermission at the sabres (fucking lost) and i was checking my phone.   i saw that i had a response.  i was nervous that i didn't answer right away, i just kinda stared for a few minutes.   well, i finally read the short email and it was a simple reply.  however, this simple act really gave me a reason to smile, even though the sabres were losing.   but, it just seemed to 

point out the importance of simple gestures.  

often, i think we tend to over think something.  we fail to remember the KISS motto; keep it simple, stupid.   simple is better.  less is more.   i feel that was the best re-gift that i could have gotten on my birthday.   :)

so, maybe not a rant by a drunken & angry standard.  :)  

but, still a worthy train of my thoughts.

-tffjr