One Bag or One Size or One Way

i am still amazed at what will trigger me to drop a few words on internet in the form of this blog.
OK. so, i am getting ready for a 3week, solo trip to Europe and one of the ideas that is making a hellava lot of sense to me is "one bag". yeah, one bag to carry my travelwares for the duration of the trip. now, that can seems like a pretty okay idea when you are thinking about a fairly large duffle bag. but, when you start to read and get more advice on the size (smaller) of the bag it starts to become a bit more daunting. but, i have decided that it could and more importantly WILL be done. really, how many socks, and extra pairs of sneakers do i need? i am just going to be a tourist, not some high-society fella crashing black-tie events. so, i think i can leave the extra wardrobe stateside.
BUT, i have to tell you the idea of using one bag for such an extended visit is a bit eye-opening. it really made me realize just how much i have in terms of clothing. i know we all like to talk about how bad we have it with the recession but looking at what i was gonna need for 3weeks and comparing to what i already had....well, let's just say that i am doing really well. just another example of how you have to sometimes change your perspective to gain any real insight of your own situation. relax. i am not advocating giving all your stuff away and going "monk". i am saying taking a good look at what you truly have before you start complaining about things, and very often you will have something wonderful already there and just overlook it.

Well, now that i was thinking about "one bag" that led me to ponder about how we as a society look at issues and subsquently our thoughts on solutions.
i get the definite impression that we are always looking for a solution that was done somewhere else, hence the idea of "one size/ one way". sure, i have simplified the idea. however, when i read or watch the news (only when i can't find a good book) it always seems like somebody is pontificating about a single way to do a solution. really? i think there are a like "infinity divided by ten" possible solutions that could be tried or at least discussed.

-take europe for example, a lot of folks say that their system for healthcare is how we need to go. well, i think we can say that what works in europe won't work here and that is based simply on the sheer delta in size of both populations, and geography. also, europe is a continent that has individual countries with their own systems. see, there is NO ONE SIZE here. now, there is nothing wrong with looking to other ways for some insight, but a straight "cut and paste" will not work. (hey, DC! the same goes for you too when applying your R's and D's)

OK, no more politics. i have to admit that doing my research for this trip has really allowed me to see another way (europe, EU, euro, etc..) and it really makes me appreciate the USA. think of the amount of different countries, different languages, different cultures, different monies and it makes me realize just how awesome this American experiment truly is. for all of the issues, it still feels that we are so lucky in terms of space, resources, and common money/language/culture. ( i know some will argue the culture point)
granted, it is alot easier now with the EU in terms of travel/money. i really look forward to this first hand. is it really that much better? the concept of the EU makes me think of how the north american continent might look if not for manifest destiny. something to thing about.

well, that is really all i have for now.

-just my 2cents

Brake Time.

yeah, i know i probably put the "wrong" break in the title. but, maybe i didn't. who knows, maybe you will be so offended by my grammatical error OR maybe you will be glad that i took some literary freedom. yeah, there you go there is no longer spelling errors, or verbs conjugated incorrectly, or confusion between adverbs and adjectives BUT rather "making a statement of grammatical freedom".

NOPE, that is bullshit. you put a fucked up sentence in your paragraph and you spell like you made your own dictionary. (ok, maybe that is a bit harsh for a elementary teacher's feedback to little kid's "what i did this summer" report)

holy shit. where was i going with this? pause. pause. yeah. taking a break. or putting the brakes on what is going on with my life. it is probably some where in the middle. but, we can talk about each one i guess. ( funny, but i sometimes think this writing is actually helping me)

Brake Time:

ok. so, this popped in my head because it feels like BRAKES are being applied to me, my thinking, my life, my direction, and all that other stuff. why do i say this? maybe just my perception. but, like a manager told me once "perception is reality".

the issues aren't really that bad, but seem like a bit of a hassle.

1. still waiting for my plates to come for my new car. YES, I SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE PROACTIVE IN CALLING ABOUT THEM. YES, I COULD HAVE GOTTEN AN ADDITIONAL TRIP PERMIT WHEN STILL IN OREGON. so, clearly this is an issue that i could have resolved better. i know that and i accept where i am with that. i guess i am really pissed is that i should have done a better job of seeing this problem and planning for it. now, i am not blaming anyone but myself and that it how it should be. what i do from here is on me and is an indication of how much i have grown. well, i still have room to grow because i was not open to "hearing advice" from my mother. (but, if you have gotten my mom's advice you might understand). it was not the advice, it was hearing or having to acknowledge my failing...never an easy thing to do. but, we continue to try and sometimes fail but always learning.

2. need to update paperwork for my ASQ certification. you are probably say, "are you fucking serious, you nerd!" yes, you are right. (wow, this shit does seem pretty mild compared to some shit out there). again, this is just another example of how i did not fully prepare or resolve the issue. for this, i didn't include enough specific in terms of the results my projects generated. i know this is just an example of maybe not giving 100+% to something i am working on. wow, that is not a thing you like to say about yourself. but, if it is true than you have to say it. just another example of thinking to much of ourselves. we are all human, and we make mistakes. so, like the example above, i use this as a learning opportunity to continue to grow and get better.

3. my own ideas, fears, misconceptions, insecurities.. well, the cat is out of the bag on this one. but, i really feel these things are getting in my own way. as much as i try to sound like i have my shit together, i think...nope, know that i am at times just working to keep my own train on the tracks. talk about something not wanting to be published. :) but, you have to embrace those feelings of insecurity or failure or unknown and use it as fertilize. and, not because it is just a bunch of shit, you pessimist. you do it because we only truly growth from pain, failure, disappointment and don't send that shit outward to folks. you have to deal with it, come to terms with and then just let it go into the garbage bin.

so, what are my fears; being alone, not finding my soul mate, unable to care for myself or loved ones, and just letting people who care about me down. but, i know being alone is the one that really gets to me. but, the part that seems the scariest is that i don't feel like i am really make strides to resolve this issue. i know you have to change the process if the one you have now isn't getting you the desired results. i know that i have the capacity to love and be with someone, but at times i wonder if i am truly at that point where i want to. i know i am like that at times but sometimes that feeling "seems to go away". maybe, i am masking that feeling with "noise". i think i need to explore that more.

OK, so what about break time?

well, this has really got to be about letting the walls down, not keeping that stiff upper lip, and just really exploring what/where/who i want to be. surprisingly, this really helps. i wonder sometimes, if this makes me seem more neurotic or more in tune with myself. i guess i can ask somebody who reads this for that feedback.

-just my 2.5 cents

Chin Up, Norway

sometimes, mankind just makes me shake my head. i just feel so sorry for all of the people that were lost in Norway on Friday. it is just so sad, sick, horrific, and just fucking wrong when innocent people are murdered. i have to admit that i was happy to hear that the judge for this case was NOT going to give a forum for this lunatic to make his case. i think we can all see that this knucklehead was only doing this to get his time on camera. and, the best way to beat this guy is to not give him his say and then to put this animal down, just like a dog with rabies.

i found it interesting that this "person" had tried to use mainstream politics to get his message across. however, went the violent tactic route to get his message out there. if i recall, this is the basic definition of terrorism, using violence to make your message heard. and, this made me thing about what would be spewed on the media's airwaves if it happened here. it made me think back to the virginia tech student who went a bit nutty with a gun. the media turned that into a circus and for what good? i mean it did not do anything to foster a conversation about mentally handicapped people and the treatment they receive, or rights versus responsibilities.

i guess in typical fashion, i started in one place and went to another. but, i do want to say that i feel terrible for the people who lost a loved one. it is terrible pain to lose a loved one, but must be off the charts pain to lose a loved one so suddenly and horrific. i just hope that their friends and loved ones support them through this terrible time. my heart goes out to you, Norway. but, you will get through this and you will be better.

thanks for the reunion.

the topic just kinda jumped to the forefront of my thoughts today. it definitely had everything to do with attending my 20 yr high school reunion. and, maybe it should be participating in my reunion. i say participate because it is one thing to go but another to really engage in conversations with folks; talking about both what they had done in high school (that was some funny and likely dumb shit), since high school and what they still plan to do with their lives. it was really great to see people but egos aside and just enjoy a beautiful (hot & muggy) evening and engage in some laughs and good conversations.

now, i know the bliss of the event hasn't worn off, it feels like that day after a really great social event where new people were meet and friendships started but i guess that is fine and it is ok to bask in that bliss for awhile. the important part is for each of us to decide if we truly want to stay connected to these 'reconnected with' people. of course you won't with all but then again maybe this is what the power of facebook is really about. it definitely helps. and, with out facebook our little reunion probably wouldn't have happened, so i say thanks Zuck!

in my opinion, the best part of the evening was just how easy everyone felt around each other. smiles were easily in abundance, second only to the beers but hey we did go to school in West Seneca! hey, high school was always a pretty fun, enjoyable place for me and this reunion proved to be no different. so, with all that said. i just wanted to say thanks to everyone who showed and made the evening a really fantastic time.

just my opinion.

Attitudes

i was really trying to figure out what the hell to pontificate about and after a few revisions it hit me. it is all about attitude. more importantly, one's attitude toward everything but specifically towards other people. ideally, one should be open to other people's thoughts, feelings, appearances or whatever. i mean i am no saint or anywhere close. sometimes, i judge people based on very limited information that i have received but even worse is to base on limited information that is given third, fourth or even fifth person. (not quite 6 degrees of kevin bacon)

i mean we see it all the time, decisions being made by folks and those folks taking an attitude that their insight/decision/whatever has to be correct. really? what gives them this all-powerful ability to correct. granted, maybe they are right but i think there is a way to be humble about it. i really think that we as a society have lost that humility. look to our media or politicians or majority of athletes or business leaders or religious leaders and you will hear "this is RIGHT and to not agree is WRONG and my opponent is a SOB" . (ok, maybe i embellished that point a bit, but you get the idea)

and, you know i think if you ask most people they will be able to acknowledge the problem in somebody else. but, come to look at yourself in the mirror.....whole different story. but, maybe it is getting better. i think the recession has really caused folks to see past materialistic stuff (partly, cuz a lot of us are losing those things) and focusing on the real essence of ourselves. family, friends and how we build or start and grow those relationships. that is a good thing and i know that it has happened and continues to happen with myself. i far from being a model in any aspect but at least i try to look at myself first before i make a judgment on a person. i still think people are sometimes assholes, dirtbags or maybe need to be eliminated from the face of the earth (bin laden) AND i probably still will. that won't change but i think it is important to at least attempt to keep an open mind/attitude as i am going through that process.

just my thoughts.

Roadtrip Notes

this is for friend of mine who doesn't use FB. so here you go, buddy. :)

Just a few thoughts from my drive. Funny how a few hours in a car will give you some things to ponder. Maybe some of them will be interesting. :)

Day1:

- amazing how beautiful it is along the Columbia River Gorge.

- Boise seemed like a very cool city. It is definitely evident that it is a college town, actually that is the prominent feel of the town. Easy to walk around the downtown area, lots of bicycles, and something reminds me of the ABQ, NM & Colorado Springs, CO.

- mind-blowing at how expansive the US really is, the varied types of scenery that one can see just with a few hours drive.

- when will car makers build a camera function into a car? make it a lot easier/safer to take those interesting pictures when driving. :)

Day2:

- never spent any time driving thru Idaho, and I can say that I regret that. It is really a beautiful piece of country. it has that type of rugged beauty which seems to be typical of states in the western mountain region of the country.

-Crater of the Moon was really cool and reminded me the area around Bend, Oregon for the lava caves. very cool and very strange looking.

- took my first opportunity to jump off the planned agenda. :) took a long dip in the hot mineral springs of Lava Springs. think of a natural hot tub...very relaxing and some had some serious heat to them. got to love that geothermal energy.

Day3:

- ok, the Great Salt Lake is one freaking water body. yeah, salty water and not an ocean. very strange but seems typical of this part of the area. the abundance of minerals, and geothermal activity just rearing its head. also, the beach was strange as you would see and hear these parts that was just dried salt.

- Salt Lake City is a really beautiful city, and has a very modern feel to it. yes, the Moron church presence is very evident but maybe that is part of the charm. it is a huge part of the town. and, i was surprised to see missionaries from all over the world; china, easter europe, etc. the presence of the Mormon religion is wide spread and pretty impressive.

- this day was also a continued swerve off the plan, and it continued to be worthwhile.

Day4:

- Grand Teton is a fantastic place and by far the most impressive place I have seen on this trip. It is just south of Yellowstone, and is just mind-blowing. Also, I love to hear how it is a "young" mountain range.

-decided to camp in the park and that was awesome. but, the one "unique" part was this was the first time that i really had the time to get lost in my thoughts. prior to that i was just so focused on driving that i didn't allow my mind to wander. it was great because the quiet and beauty of the park just allowed me to think on what really matters in life. hopefully, i will actually learn something. ;)

-this is a long trip and a co-pilot might have been a good idea. :)

Day5:

-Yellowstone is awesome but I do feel that it is primarily OLD FAITHFUL'S park. :) that had to be one of the most impressive things that i have ever seen. one thing i was thinking about was how would this blow the mind of a settler that was moving westward. i mean i knew what it was all about and it still caused me to gasp.

-taking pictures of the park is like just scratching the surface of the sun. such a small action that can't really give you a true sense of the magnitude of the beauty of this park and any of the wilderness seen so far.

- from now on, i want to visit as many actual places that i see in pictures or read about. it just helps to make the image 3D rather than 2D. i suggest the same for everyone else too.

Day6:

- really got back to the schedule and was glad for that. guess, i can't get to far from my organized side.

- visited the Battle of Little Bighorn...WOW!. i remember reading about this in history classes but had no sense of the magnitude of the battle. again, it just seems to reinforce the concept of getting out and seeing/living history to make it more complete of a picture.

- Montana and Wyoming are beautiful. I don't know how beautiful they would be in the dead of winter. ;) but, the summer they are beautiful, truly the image of the wild west.

Day7:

- Happy Birthday, America.

- Mt Rushmore, I was surprised by how much of an impact this had on me. Something about being there on our country's birthday with a unbelievable tribute to 4 of our greatest presidents. But, I feel that it was more than about those four and more about just how great this country is, how much it went through to get here, where we started from and hopefully how we can get our shit together to fix this fantastic country. It was great to see the wide ranges of people present that were there to enjoy this site. I can hope that they were as moved as I was. So, what does this mean for me? Well, I just need to stop bitching about things and really strive to improve them or at least my immediate circle of influence.

-Badlands, it was just incredible to see this area. it seemed like out of nowhere the earth just got completely messed up. i am not sure how it got its name ( i guess i can wikipedia it) but it seems to me that somebody saw the area and said that is some "bad land". regardless, it was something really awesome to witness. i continue to be amazed at how beautiful and diverse the geography of this country is. this is just another example of truly amazing this great country is with such natural beauty.

- i am truly blessed that i am an AMERICAN.

GOD BLESS AMERICA.

Day8:

-i guess the only thing that i can comment on is, satellite radio has got to be the biggest con out there. i mean it is literally matches cable tv. both have 100+ channels but only about 5 are worth a damn. unreal.

i mean for the sirus there are about 15 channels that are literally just cable tv channels being simulcasted, just without the pictures. i am glad that i have a free subscription but i am pretty sure that i won't re-new my free subscription. however, i can say that i have enjoyed listening to old howard stern bits. i got to hear some old jackie skits, and even billy west skits. that was priceless.

Day9:

-Rock and Roll Hall of Fame was very cool BUT no where near enough VAN HALEN stuff. Really cool architecture to the building. I am always amazed at the range/ diversity of folks at any sort of museum. first time i say like 45% of the patrons bobbing their heads in a museum...but that makes sense i guess.

- Pennsylvania, your roads suck. there is a rant here but i am just in a good mood and really don't want to wasted my typing on your shitty roads. just know that i could.

- it was really awesome to get back to "home". it felt good to know that i wasn't gonna be sleeping in a motel tonite. but, the best part was meeting up with a few friends ( most of them i hadn't seen since HS) and just catch up, take about the trip, and just enjoy the company of good people. funny, how we all seemed to have grown up since HS. well, i guess that is how "growing old works"

Day10:

- gave the ride a much needed bath. i think i have officially become that guy who loves to wash and detail his car. does this mean i need to get a gold chain? :)

hopefully, you enjoyed my sense of humor and maybe i have put the bug in your mind to take a roadtrip. it really was one of the most enjoyable experiences of my life. so much history, so much beautiful and varied geography, and just so really nice and friendly people i meet along the way.

Day 1 Roadtrip

it was a really great day today. drove 400+ miles, went thru oregon and into idaho, and finally crossed into the mountain time zone. i really enjoyed the drive, especially seeing the scenery passing bay. i have to admit that sometimes the best view was from my rear-view mirror. not because i was going away because at times i was going either up or down-hill, and anytime snow-capped mountains are included that is good.

one of the ideas that creeped into my mind was, at times you really do need to look around; to the sides and behind you. it can be really good because you can see some great views, and from the rear-view you can also see some amazing views. now, if i kept this view i would completely crash and that is just not good. so, looking back is good to reflect upon but you have to keep looking forward to make progress. so, with that i am putting those old chapters on the shelf and who knows when i might pick it up again. :)

looking forward to day 2

-just my thoughts

Road Trip

i feel like i should have some words or something at a minimum to spout.

a roadtrip across the country is in the works, and likely will start this week. but, i feel like i have been waiting for this for several days now. i am tired of talking, thinking, or anything else that is NOT actually making this trip. i know we are supposed to plan, plan, and plan but it feels like it just gets to be a pain because we all know you have to put the rubber to the road at some point. i know that i am there. i have meet with folks, caught up with folks, talked with folks, ate with folks, had beverages with folks, shared stories with folks, and on and on and on. now, this in no way takes away from the pleasure these experiences gave. i guess i am ready to prove to myself that i am read to finish this adventure. i feel the butterflies and it makes me want to start sooner than later. however, i kinda miss my parents and i am sure they will be happier once i have set foot back home. also, 2 weeks is a long time to be visiting any place, especially when 'couch surfing'.

- i really don't know how people do it, couch surfing. i am so lucky to have enough friends to allow it to happen. however, there is still something to be said for having your own place to lay your head. and, maybe i am just feeling a little bit "helpless"...you know having to ask for help. but, i had said earlier that would be a good thing to experience.

i have really enjoyed my time here and will miss my friends here. no regrets. only good memories of some great people.

Trusting the Gut

yeah, it never ceases to amaze me how right the gut gets it. especially, when we take the time to look back on a decision. sure, it seems crazy or tough or insane or just wrong or any other lunch buffet of adjectives. but, it is even better when it proves out to be the right call.

from my own experience, the decision to leave pdx, head east, and try something news seems to be the completely correct call. i have been back visiting the pdx area for the last week, and probably for an additional week. while fantastic to reconnect with friends, it became evident that staying was not the correct option for me. all those ideas of why i wanted to leave came flooding back too. it isn't that i am anti-pdx, it is just that i feel growth opportunities will be more outside of here. additionally, i could feel the stagnation creeping in again on me and in just a short time here. see the gut was right. :) but, then again it usually is. i mean, we should know ourselves best and that knowledge should allow for the best decisions to be made.

so, yes i am glad that i left pdx. but, i am by no means happy to have left such wonderful friends. that was the hard part of leaving but also has been the real joy of visiting.

-just my 2 cents.

Waiting for a ride

yeah, i hate waiting. i really find it a bit on the pain in the ass side more than unbearable. ( i was gonna say unbearable but then i thought about the pain of losing someone or what it not know about a loved one missing. kinda sad how we are always so quick to make the those broad and absolute statements, especially when we KNOW better. is this whole blog gonna be a side note? :))

what am i waiting for? my new car. my new sense of freedom? my new opportunity for adventure? nope. just my car. i find it interesting how i lose sight of what is in front of me. this recent daunt back to pdx made that clear, and most likely clear again. i always know this but need to gently remind myself from time to time. so, now you ask what is the lesson?

as i see it, the lesson is:

-there is really no reason to wait for some outside event that has to occur for you to do something. everything you need is right there in front of you. no need to wait for something external to say "time to go". it is always about when you are ready to act. no more waiting for that phone call, package delivery, new sale, or whatever. make the decision yourself, start it, and enjoy it.

-just my 2 cents