SO WHAT IF YOU DON’T KNOW

It has been awhile.  Maybe I just didn't have anything to say.  Not sure if I ever do.  Well, here is a speech I am giving to my Toastmasters group.  Maybe it can help somebody. Feel free to let me know what you think. 

This year has been a very educational and challenging year for me, both personally and professionally.   My focus, priorities, and energies have all shifted.  The shift has been of my own doing, as a response to  uncomfortable and albeit slightly painful situations.   Now, this is nothing specific to me, as everyone is dealing with uncertainty these days.  The most challenging part has been the uncertainty that hovers over me and clouds my thinking.   I like to picture it as a storm cloud, albeit not to far away.   Is it going to rain, is it going to thunder, will there be lightning?   I don’t know.

 

The unknown has always been a source of fear for humanity.  

How scary was it for Columbus and his crew to sail across a “flat world”?   OR, how scared is the little child of the monster that MAYBE under the bed?

 

Dealing with the unknown is a very scary thing because you MAY have to try new things, learn new skills, meet new people, or even take a good hard look at yourself and most folks are not going to like what they see.   When we get out of that comfortable space in our life, things look scary.   And, for the first time in my life, I know that I am in that unknown space.   But, it does not have to be scary.  It was, but I am getting more comfortable with it.

 

You never know what will happen, but something always does.   Spirituality has always been a way people have dealt with the unknown or fear.   Sometimes that has been in the form of religion.   I see spirituality as the process of finding your own being or essence. For me, I have found my spirituality through meditation.  Meditation can be defined as an attempt (and that is the important part, the attempt) to achieve a deeper state of relaxation or awareness.

 

My path toward mediation started when I wandering through the library, likely in a bit of a haze, stumbled across the book titled, “Comfortable with Uncertainty” by Pema Chodron.   It felt like a smack to the back of my head, like a HS teacher does in study hall to that sleeping student.   HEY, YOU.  WAKE UP!

It completely summarized where I was in my life, lots of questions and no real idea where to look for the answers.

The book deals with meditation and is a collection of concepts, themes, and practices of Buddhism. The main focus of the teachings is to help us cultivate mindfulness and awareness.   WE TRY TO BE MORE IN THE PRESENT, WHILE BEING AWARE OF OURSELVES AND OUR INTERACTIONS WITH OTHERS.

Both IDEAS are key to helping us minimize the perceived impact of not knowing or uncertainty.  The real focus of Pema’s teachings is to become comfortable with the uncertainty, because UNCERTAINTY is all there truly is in life.

 

One concept that really struck me was tonglen.  This is a practice where you send out happiness to others and you take in any suffering that others feel.  In layman terms, think of it as allowing ourselves to be there to help others.  Everyone needs help, a shoulder to lean on, a listening ear, a hug, or a kind word.

 

A second concept that really struck me was ‘getting to know fear’.  They say that anyone who has stood at the edge of the unknown, without a reference point experiences groundlessness.   It is at this most vulnerable and unnerving place where we are able to possibly achieve a greater understanding.    Now we can start to get familiar with fear (not comfortable) and we start undo our old ways of how we sensed and experienced things; see, hear, smell, taste, and feel. We become humbled.  If we commit to that place, things will become very vivid. When there is nowhere to escape things become very clear.

 

The 2 ideas of mediation that I mentioned have helped in my journey.  They have helped to quiet my mind, and allow me to hear my real voice.   Just like normal “conversational” listening, it is much more difficult than one would expect.  But, I truly believe it is about the journey rather than the actual destination.   I see my Toastmasters as an extension of my meditation.   Maybe, because their starting points are similar OR maybe because both are helping me to express my true self to others and more importantly to myself.

 

I hope that I was able to pass along abit of knowledge.  They say when you can teach something, and then you truly understand it.  I hope that has been the case today.

Good luck.